


Smear my Lipstick

by PinkGluestick



Category: South Park
Genre: BUKETS OF FLUFF, Dom!Kyle, F/M, Feelings, Fluff, Friends being good to each other, IMMATURE BABIES, Im sure I’m forgetting something again, Kinky, M/M, Multi, NSFW, Sexual Themes, Smut, Sub!Eric, Swearing, kenny is a working man, kinky language, mature language, stan is excited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-07-29 17:22:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16268873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkGluestick/pseuds/PinkGluestick
Summary: They skipped a few steps didn’t they? Now it’s Kyle’s job to fit things together and make what happened into a serious, functioning relationship. While everyone else acts like children.Continuation of Applying Blush   :3You of course don’t have to read that one first, BUT everything in this will make references to that one and play off it. It’s a literal continuation.all the same warnings apply like the first one, like SUBMISSIVE CARTMAN, so watch out for that xDIt’s the sequel only two people asked for XD GET READY





	1. Clearing

**Author's Note:**

> Hullo :3 this is the continuation and will be equal parts everything the first one was. SO FLUFF AND SMUT AND FEELINGS. 
> 
> SUBMISSIVE CARTMAN, but plenty of blushing Kyle. How couldn’t I
> 
> My tumblr thing is frufruglue
> 
> The way I wrote this reflects a lot of my art, like the first story. 
> 
> SO BE CAREFUL VIEWING THIS D8

“What happened next?” Kenny whispered, voice absolutely hoarse.

Kyle didn’t know for the life of him why Kenny wanted all these details, but he was getting better and better at subtly asking for them and Kyle found himself slipping him more and more information than he’d liked to.

“Kenny, there’s really nothing more I can tell you about what I did with my dick.”

“I’m not asking how you fucked him. Geez, why did you even think of that first? are you repressed or something?”

“I ask my self this...”

“I meant AFTER sex. Obviously you put your dick in his prostate and stirred it around. What else can you do in there?- OH! First one to find out gets 50 bucks.”

“I don’t want to make that bet. You lose 50 bucks and you’ll never get Leo out of his parent’s house, or have dinner for the next month.”

“Ohh, Cartman’s classic poor jokes. Good stuff, dude. So you ARE going back for seconds then.”

Kyle swallowed, pink coloring the bridge of his nose.

“Um....I don’t know Ken. We skipped some pretty important details.”

“What’s more important than sex?”

“Courting him. Movies. Kissing more than ONCE before you bang. You imagine what Leo would feel like if you just jumped into the nitty gritty first?”

“Oh, Leo was jumping my bones the first night we went dancing at his parent’s gay ass country club. The first night Kyle. It was the hottest shit.”

 

“Wow. I...I had no idea. Um, should I congratulate you?”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. These things are new to you.”

Kyle shrugged unsure of what to say. Kenny side eyed him.

“You tell Cartman he took your virginity?”

Kyle side eyed him right back.

“That information is not for his ears.”

“Oh boy, Kyle. Keeping secrets in a relationship already.”

“We just started this thing.”

“That’s my point. Are you about to do that thing where you argue that this isn’t a relationship? You did have sex.”

Kyle’s ears turned red. He brought a hand over his eyes to block out the impending humiliation.  
“GOD. Please say fuck.”

“Alright man, take it easy.” Kenny beamed, proud of his friends’ little sexscapades.

“I just think before we do THAT again, we need to catch up with the other stuff first. And, if we survive it, then maybe...we...um....fuck again.”

“Sounds good, Kyle. Just tell me what me and Stan need to do.”

“Don’t volunteer me without me here to defend myself.” Stan called, marching into Kyle’s bedroom and shucking his backpack to the floor.

“I have a special role, you couldn’t understand Kenneth.” 

He turned towards Kyle, looking the happiest they had seen him since the camping trip with Wendy kissing all over him. Kyle thought it was cute, but equally suspicious. He narrowed his eyes.

“My job is to be Kyle’s eyes and ears.”

“And what does that mean?” Kenny scoffed.

“Don’t worry, Kyle and I know. I know exactly what to do.” Stan patted Kyle’s shoulder.

“Great. I sure don’t. Stan, what are you talking about?”

“You’ll thank me later!” Stan ran out of the room and somewhere into the kitchen.

Kyle and Kenny exchanged looks.

“.....I trust him.”

“Ok.”

“It’s Stan, Ken.”

“I said ok.”

“He’s just excited for his best friend! Stan isn’t going to sabotage me!”

“He’s a tad oblivious, though. You should try to find out what he’s going to do first before he does it.”

“I can’t.” Kyle zipped his jacket up and stood. Kenny moved from the chair at Kyle’s desk to take his place on the bedside.

“I have to take Cartman out tonight. He practically demanded it.”

“Since when do you take orders from Cartman?”

“When he gets all whiny. It’s just easier that way.”

“Oh, Kyle, you are WHIPPED.” Kenny snickered into his hand.

“You know what, KEN, here’s something you’ll understand.” Kyle sang in a rare moment of total machoism.

“That ass is whipped tighter than yarn on a spool. I don’t know that means, but fuck YEAH I’m taking him out tonight! Weep.”

“Oh SHIT! KYLE BROVFLOSKI’S GOT A PAIIIIIR OHHHH! You trying to get soooomme!”

“Shut UP. Damn.” Kyle waved his stupid friend off and left him to take his nap. Kenny tooK night shifts and he had a much easier time sleeping here before clock in than at his own house. And Leo’s was too far from the restaurant he waited so it had to be at Kyle’s.

Kyle locked his apartment door, fully aware Stan was running wild somewhere inside. 

 

This was it. Officially, this would be their first date. Unofficially, too, since Kyle refused to acknowledge surprise sex as a first date after you punch a guy.

HE walked all the way to Cartman’s house which was 10 blocks over. He didn’t stay thin through sheer will power. Thankfully the movie theatre was only 2 from there.

Kyle hadn’t reached the door step before Cartman barreled outside in his pajamas.

Kyle looked him over in total bewilderment.

“Um. Are you ready?”

“Kahl! Glad you could make it. So, what are we up to tonight?”

“I thought a movie, Cartman.”

“Oh are we going out then?” Eric swallowed nervously. His feet must feel like ice in that snow.

“That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

Eric looked down at his toes, lips bitten and bashful. 

“well..... you didn’t actually ask me out. So...”

Kyle blinked, eternally conflicted about what that was supposed to mean. 

“......you want me to?”

Eric looked off to the side, smiling sheepishly. The silence stretched on until Kyle decided it would just be easier to say it than wait any longer.

“Cartman, we should go out tonight.” There.

“I guess we should, I mean, we DID have sex like a week ago...”

“Cartman, do you want to go out tonight? And that’s the last time I’m saying it.”

Eric bounced, cheeks pink. “Why yes Kahl! Let me get my things!” 

Eric ran back inside and raced up the stairs. 

“Get dressed while you’re at it.” Kyle called from the living room, letting himself in. He was about to take his fucker out, he better invite his ass inside.

So far, everyday since their intimate encounter, their interactions had consisted of Eric doing stuff like this. Playing all dumb and coy to get Kyle to say stupid things. It didn’t make any sense.

He spent an hour on Stan’s patio in the cold trying to get Kyle to offer him his coat. To which Kyle did after lots of Kyle angrily trying to reason they should just go INSIDE.

It wasn’t the worse thing Cartman had done honestly. He was capable of SO MUCH WORSE. It was annoying and kind of exhausting but then so was everything about Eric Cartman and Kyle hadn’t known this little bitch ANY other way. 

And it was....slightly endearing. After a while. After Wendy explained Cartman just wanted Kyle to be romantic and Kyle should be more initiative.

The last time Kyle was more ‘initiative’, he had Eric on his back with his legs up.

But he didn’t really feel like telling Wendy that. The only reason Kenny had gotten anything out of him was he was persistent enough he caught Kyle on his slip ups.

As far as being ‘initiative’ like that again, Kyle had sworn to himself that he would start showing some restraint. He had a list of internal conflicts he did battle with after he left Cartman’s house that night.

Nothing he was willing to FORGET about though, as his brain every night since had refused to delete Cartman’s ‘o’ face from memory. And what was Kyle to do with that information than the embarrassingly unthinkable?

Cartman came bursting down the stairs in sweat pants and a thick, navy blue sweater.

“You look comfy.”

“I come prepared. I can’t snuggle into your shoulder in those stiff-ass theatre chairs if I’ve got slacks on. You said dress comfortably.”

“I did. Just admiring the fact you actually listened. That’s so unlike you.”

“I never ignore a piece of fashion advice.” Eric walked them out and locked the door.

“So you’re going to try to snuggle me at the movies? I hate pda.”

“I was KIDDING Kahl. As if I want your cheap smelling cologne on my sheep wool sweater.” 

Eric’s blossoming blush said otherwise, however. 

They walked to the theatre in silence. Kyle could handle the quiet, but the gears turning in Eric’s head were on the verge of implosion. Kyle, stoic and perfectly content to make it to the theatre without Cartman’s colorful crudity, missed the subtle shakes and wide, horrified staring coming from the other boy.

Eric kept glancing up at him and picking at his nails. Kyle could hear him swallowing and the staring was starting to make him uncomfortable. Cartman wasn’t doing anything bad yet, though, so he decided to pick his battles wisely and not fuss at him for the odd behavior. He could be doing worse, he reminded himself.

Eric kept glancing around nervously, like he was looking for something. Or someone.

 

Kyle didn’t think there was anything seriously worth talking about his behavior for until they ran in to their first set of familiar faces. Thankfully it was a couple of the kid’s parents and there would be no real explaining to do. 

The adults in South Park didn’t seem to know much about Kyle and Cartman’s complicated like/hate relationship and wouldn’t start questioning them about what they were doing out together. 

Even better, it was Mr. and Mrs. Tweak. Always very polite and stuck to their own business.

“Hello boys!” Mrs. Tweek smiled, looking between the two. “How’s your mother, Kyle.”

“She’s alright. Tired between Ike’s soccer practice and quiz bowl tournaments.”

“He’s got a bit of his brother in him, eh? That’s right, you moved out didn’t you?” Mr. tweak asked.

Kyle nodded.

“Won’t be long before our son is moving out, too. We were hoping to keep him with us long enough he could save some money before he ventured out, but he’s real insistent on leaving.”

“He’s very independent.” His mother said putting a hand to her chest.

Kyle nodded awkwardly, not sure what to say. Eric wished he had a mom that wasn’t trying to push him out on his face. He swallowed and stared off at the chain link fence to his side. Kyle didn’t notice how stiff he had gotten.

“Where are you boys headed?”

“Um... the movies.” Kyle’s face flushed. He was hoping to avoid this. This wouldn’t have been a problem a week ago. Friends went to the movies together without any romantic intentions all the time. Why was he making this weird? Why was he being obvious all the sudden?

“Oh yes, we just dropped Tweek off there to meet Craig. Craig’s car is in the shop. It’s always something isn’t it?”

“Yes it is.” Eric nodded politely.

“Let’s go, we’re holding them up darling.” Mr. Tweek led his wife into the grocery store as she waved goodbye.

“....what was that?”

“What?” Kyle turned towards the shorter boy.

“You just told them we were going to the movies.”

“We are.” Kyle jerked his head to the side.

“Yeah but you TOLD them!”

“So?”

Eric’s eyes went wide. He swallowed and looked down at his feet as they began to walk again.

“Like I want them thinking I’m going out with an angry ginger bitch.”

Kyle rolled his eyes and stomped ahead.

Stan’s prayers for a computer theatre operator did not go unanswered.  
As Kyle predicted, the device had done more harm than good in a backwards place like South Park, and the Christian athletes community was already protesting for a ban on the devil device that suggested 50 Shades Darker on its main menu. And that was the lesser of complaints coming in.

Kyle walked up to the monitor and fished out his wallet from his back pocket.

“What are you doing?” Eric squeaked from below. 

“Getting us tickets.” Kyle flipped his wallet shut and turned to find out what the matter was now.

“Dude! The Tweaks said Craig and Tweek are here! What if they see you paying for my ticket!”

“Then we say hi and wave to each other while Craig flips us off?”

“Ky-yul. No way.” Cartman grit his teeth.

“If they see that then they’ll know we’re on a date.”

“Cartman, I think Wendy told the whole school i sucked your dick by the lake on the camping trip.”

“We weren’t even together- I was DATING JEREMY.”

“I know. That girls crazy.”

“Why can’t she mind her business? What would she tell people that for?”

“I don’t know. Because she thinks we’re hot. Girls love gays guys or something. They write fiction for them and everything.”

Kyle took his wallet back out when Cartman whipped his head from side to side to see who was watching, and then snatched it out of his hand and shoved it into his coat pocket.

“Dude?!”

Kyle turned around, searching Cartman’s face for some sort of explanation. He only saw Cartman’s anger, and that left him more confused than ever.

“You’re being too stupid about this! People will SEE. Can’t you be more discreet?!”

“So what if they do?!”

“What do you think! Use your stupid ginger brain!”

“I don’t GET you?! What is wrong with you?!” 

Kyle threw his arms up and turned back to the operator screen.

“I’m nervous ok!!” Cartman swallowed the lump in his throat. How could he be messing this up already. ALREADY? It was the first fucking date.

Kyle turned and fixed him with a cold stare, but one that said to continue.

Cartman’s cheeks were stained red.

“I act this way to cover up....its like....easier that way. I’m just....I don’t want to mess this up. I don’t know how to act around you. Your...your fucking KYLE! I mean c’mon. You see how weird this is, too!”

“This is weird to you?”

“Seriously, you really don’t think so?? Seriously?”

“I don’t. I think it’s something else, which may be worse honestly. But its not weird, it’s shocking. It’s totally new and I wouldn’t have seen this coming for us if we spent 400 years vaguely flirting with one another, shoved in a small room together!”

 

Eric’s shoulders seemed to soften but his face still twisted in worry and something else indiscernible. Kyle hadn’t seen it before. He persisted, determined to make cartman believe him.

“It’s not weird. It’s incredibly surprising to me, and that’s all. What’s weird about you still being the Eric Cartman I’ve known all my life and me being the same Kyle? I’m still angry, and pensive, and intolerant of your shenanigans, and definitely still fighting to make you behave like a civilized human when we’re in public. What have I done that’s weird for me?”

 

Eric was silent. He couldn’t find his voice. He just stared up at Kyle, eyes searching. He found something, but Kyle wasn’t sure it was what he hoped for.

 

“I don’t want to do to you what I did to Heidi.”

 

The air was knocked out of his lungs. Honestly, it would have hurt less if Kyle had fallen on his ass on rainy concrete. This thing Eric was saying... it was...painful. To hear this, directed at HIM, Kyle couldn’t help but wonder if he had made Cartman relive some horrid nightmare memory by taking him out tonight.

Then he saw the faint dust of pink high on his cheeks and the nervous, flitting shuffles of feet. He decided, he hoped correctly, that this wasn’t about some dark, twisted past relationship issues. 

Kyle stared down at him, then smiled like an absolute asshole.

 

“You’re right, this is weird. That was the most mature thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“Pff. Fuck you, fire crotch.”

Tension filled the air around them and the space between their bodies felt way too close all of the sudden. The two flushed, turning away from each other. Kyle was about to say some pretty heartfelt things but then everything seemed to change in less than a second, killing the mood.

A week ago, that insult would have only been fire fuel for a classic Kyle/Cartman fight. 

Now though......it wasn’t unfounded....

Since a weeks time, Eric had seen first hand what color that crotch was in great detail.

They were suddenly reminded of why they came out tonight.

 

“Ok.....so it IS kind of weird.” Kyle muttered, unable to look at him yet.

“Things ARE different between us now. I was stupid to think we should just be Kyle and Cartman.”

“Well no, I mean...I do like it that way..in a...weird way.”

“Well we can’t, I’m sorry. We don’t have the standard boyfriend material relationship going on in our default setting. We can’t do both, not if you want me to quit being so angry all the time and start complimenting you more.”

Cartman turned 10 shades darker. He had NEVER heard Kyle talk that way in their entire lives together. Ever. To hear it now and Eric at the center of it, he felt light headed. Possibly because all the blood in his cheeks wasn’t getting to his brain properly. 

 

DID he want that more? For Kyle to compliment him and hold his hands?

He had made such a big production of them being boyfriends before and demanding Kyle take him out tonight. But if it meant losing what they had.... 

Kyle looked him over. He had been silent for far too long. Was he reconsidering them taking this somewhere? 

“Um. Look...we don’t have to do this.”

“Do what?” Eric turned to him, a block of ice settling in his gut. Kyle still couldn’t face him yet.

“Any of this. We don’t have to date. It could just have been a one night stand thing if you wa-“

“It’s not that!”

It’s not that? Then what?.....

Kyle forced himself to push away the embarrassment and look at the shorter boy. He was nearly trembling. If it wasn’t that then it must be.....

“Cartman, we can take this slower. I’m not going to start shacking up with you everytime we hold hands.” Kyle’s face was BURNING. But he had to stay strong.

“It’s not that either!”

And Kyle thought he was confused before. 

“Then well....??? Um?...what’s WRONG, dude?”

“It’s...” Eric suddenly got this determined look in his eye. “I love your fire! And just your presence, it’s like commanding and it just grabs my attention constantly- and I like how we....WERE THAT night...um and...I- uh I-I like how we could always fight about something because you’re such the damn justice police and I’m an asshole- and I don’t want to lose that!!?? Ok?! That might be how I lost...they....”

Kyle watched his face crumple. He heard enough of what he needed to. The parts that mattered.

“All I meant,” Kyle pulled him into his chest with an arm. “Was that some things have to change. Like, I call you Eric from now on. Hm? Let’s start there.”

Eric pulled his head out of his chest with wide, fearful eyes.

“What if we break up?!”

“Then I’ll call you Cartman. And things will be exactly how they were. Probably worse dude. Does that sound good to you? (For some reason).”

Eric looked back down and stared at the very warm, very real chest he was eye level with.

“Annnd, maybe you not get so defensive about anything and everything... Can we do this?”

“Yeah. Yes I...WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!”

Kyle flinched at the outburst. He traced his eyes over Cartman’s stare and following it to where he saw Tweek and Craig watching wide eyed and mouth gaping across the foyer. A smile tugged the corners of Tweek’s lips, and he was able to pull Craig away while he was whispering madly about the pair in Tweek’s ear. They stumbled into theatre door 12 and out of sight.

“What the fuck- did you see that?!” Cartman was positively riveting.

“Let them talk.” Kyle shrugged.

“DUDE?! We can’t just-!”

“Defensive, Cartman.”

“ERIC, Kyle.”

“Fair enough.”

“Getting defensive wih other people doesn’t count?! I mean-.....I wasn’t getting defensive.” Eric was pouting now.

“It counts if it is about our relationship.”

“What, so like?! You’re NOT Embarresed by this?!”

Kyle swallowed, face turning pale but refusing to let his fear show. 

Finally, he was able to find his voice.

“Should I be? .....Are you?.....”

 

“Kyle.” Eric turning white himself, eyes searching Kyle’s face desperately.

“NO.” He put his hands on either side of Kyle’s cheek. 

Kyle instantly believed him, and the color came back to his face with the unwanted addition of red.

“It’s just... I thought YOU would be Kyle?Because like...your KYLE!”

The ginger shook his head, sighing from his nose. This idiot.

“Dude, I beat up your boyfriend while you were dating him because he called you baby.”

“No Kyle I ‘member.” Eric grinned wickedly like a cat.  
“It’s cause he said we were fucking.”

“ERIC!”

“So NOW you choose to use my name. I don’t like these relationship rules.”

“Eric, I chased after YOU. Remember?”

“Yeah but I’ve liked you since we were in the 4th grade and I-“ 

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“What?”

“Nothing Kahl, nothing!”

“You said you liked me since the 4th grade.”

“Kahl-“

“That’s what you said.”

“WELL I DID AND I MADE ALL THESE SUGGESTIVE LITTLE HINTS AND YOU NEVER WENT FOR THEM SO YEAH I DONT KNOW why YOURE not the one embarresed here?!”

Kyke swallowed thickly.

“Eric I didn’t know I would like you back then. Honesty, I probably wouldn’t have. You were such a jerk off....  
But ignore all that and let’s talk about sincE FOUTH GRADE!?...so you DID know when you told Nicole we were boyfriends!” Kyle looked annoyingly triumphant for Eric who was struggling not to run to the next state over and change his entire identity.

 

“How could I tell you! I didn’t know you were gay Kyle.”

“I’m not.”

“Um, Kyle...I’ve got some news for you.”

“No I mean...It’s just you Cartm- Eric.”

Eric froze. He never thought in a million years he would hear something like that. Even f they had been dating well into their 30’s, he still never would have believed it if he hadn’t heard it with his own ears. Kyle had just......he said......

Eric looked up at him with eyes glittering with all the night’s stars.

“Just...me....”

Kyle fought valiantly to retain some semblance for composure under the weight of the honey pools. His voice betrayed him.

“I may not have felt this for you all our lives, but I cannot deny I have felt things more real and powerful for you than I have any other person, Cartman. You’re the first person I think about when things get too real. That has been in a negative light plenty of times, but it’s also been in a good one a few. And even if it hadn’t been, the fact remains that it was still you. I can’t explain what I’m talking about, and that sounded unhealthy, but I can’t help it.”

Eric look down at his shoes and started to do that nervous fidgeting he always did with the jacket zipper at his throat.

Kyle could make out the flutter of lashes and a very definite shade of red across Eric’s cheeks. If this was going to get anywhere, they would have do a lot less talking in the first few dates. There was clearly too much emotional baggage to get around before they could enjoy each other’s company.

“Why are we talking about this? Let’s go, do date stuff.” Kyle hoped that sounded convincing and not assholish . 

There was silence for a while and then-  
“Yeah let’s do date stuff.” 

Without further delay, and enough emotions in the air to flood and sink a cruise ship, Kyle wrapped his arm around Eric’s shoulders. 

He left a space between them and his hold was slightly rigid, as if to test the waters. Hopefully Eric would not suspect it was to appear confident where there was none. 

Eric melted immediately. He let his body slide together under Kyle‘s arm as everything on Kyle went stiff. But he walked on, determined to give Eric the best date he had ever had.


	2. Concealer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this is just two blushing idiots. And poor Kenny.
> 
> Caution FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF

They left the theatre and just decided to ditch movie night. After all the crazy outbursts and Eric’s very obvious discomfort, it was possible they may not be ready for such a...public step.

Eric suggested they take food home and talk on the couch. Kyle agreed with the condition it was his place. Ike would make himself WAY too comfortable with the situation if it was at Kyle’s. 

Friends finding out was embarrassing enough for Eric, but even Kyle was daunted in the face of family discovering. 

Kenny was on shift at La Ritz by now. The duo made their way over to get food with Kyle’s nervous hover-hand on Cartman’s shoulder.

He wasn’t about to complain, though. As far as the ‘awkwardness’ went, he rather liked this. Kyle wrapping an arm around his back and walking them around, parading them. Parading Eric.

Eric’s face flushed the color of his coat and he turned his head away from Kyle’s side, putting an extra sliver of distance between them and how heavy the atmosphere was becoming. 

Kyle’s hand, as barely there as it was, was warm. It was solid, and bigger than Eric’s. Kyle was thin and long everywhere.

Eric swallowed and tried to blink away a warm feeling spreading in his gut, wishing he hadn’t taken that moment to admire Kyle’s much different physique. 

The somewhat dreaded moment arrived where they would have to come face to face with the busboy himself while presenting as a couple for the first time.

“I’m a waiter, fatso.” Kenny glared at Cartman’s snarky use of busboy and adjusted his bow tie.

Kenny’s job demanded a very polished image of himself. One Stan, Kyle, and Cartman would never have imagined seeing on him before. It wasn’t a bad look, persay. It just.......wasn’t Kenny.

“I think you look nice, Ken.” Kyle tried to shed some light where his rude date wouldn’t. TRIED.

“THANK you, Kyle. At least I HAVE a job, Unlike Cartman....wait..are you?- KYLE!”

Kyle couldn’t stop himself from laughing any longer.

“You’re as bad as HE IS!” Kenny pointed the reservations book at Eric who was biting his lips and delighting in Kyle’s cruelty with shining eyes.

Kyle’s hands flew over his mouth. An old habit the other three boys didn’t even notice anymore. 

After Cartman finished laughing at Kenny’s expense, he wiped his eyes and made a show of sounding snotty.

“Ok, ok, but seriouslah. We’re hungry, POOR boy.”

“Fuck you BOTH.” Kenny gargled through grit teeth so his boss wouldn’t hear. These absolute assholes..... he was doing the best he could. 

So what if he wore a white apron, slicked his shaggy hair back, and wore make up over all his cuts and bruises. This job was $12 an hour and these two imbeciles were still living off mommy. 

“Inside or out?” 

“Well we actually want it to go-“

“Oh, yes! You want inside don’t you? Inside Cartman’s ass again? Certainly, let me just get your romantic dinner all wrapped up and I’ll throw in the condoms you didn’t use the first time you came inside him.”

Cartman almost fainted.

Kyle came.....insIDE HIM?????? 

When did he-

How was he supposed to know that??? 

Kyle and he had....there was so much pleasure... it was so SUDDEN and it was the heat of the moment he.....he...he did....

w-WHAT now?

 

Eric’s head whipped around to Kyle.

Kyle swallowed his heart down, looking white as a sheet. That hadn’t been something they talked about. They worked out a lot of stuff the day following their first time, but it was about whether they wanted to take this somewhere or if they should even make it a big deal.  
It was a unanimous, very rushed ‘yes’.

But HOW could Kyle NOT remember he did THAT?!??! HOW could he have been so careless as to let THAT happen?!?!

“N-no. I....” Kyle couldn’t find the words, and Eric wasn’t even trying to speak. The shorter boy felt utterly disoriented, his head falling down to stare at his shoes.

So they HAD, judging by Kyle’s reaction.

Kenny watched the calamity unfold with a perfectly masked air of satisfaction. He looked between Eric’s trembling shoulders and Kyle’s wide, horrified eyes. It was quite endearing really to see his two friends unravel in hysterical humiliation. It was a nice change and Kenny and Stan agreed a long time ago, nobody deserved it more than Kyle and Eric did. If only Stan was here to see it.

It was getting harder to disguise his indulgence when Kyle and Eric shared a quick glance at the same time, only to become utterly red-faced and turn away so hard, Kyle nearly lost his balance.

“You said you want it to go?” Kenny had had his fill, more or less. Honestly he could watch them blush and stutter all night long. But if he didn’t let them go finish their date now, he wouldn’t have a life time of this to look forward to. They were nearly chickening out of this date as it was.

Kyle swallowed again, very loud, and nodded his shaky head. Kenny smiled and trotted off, picking out their orders for them. They were in no condition to speak right now, much less think.

Kenny was right, of course. There was only one thing on their minds. He left the two of them standing there to try and sort out there brand new crisis before things got too heavy

Kyle was the first to find his voice.

“I....I’m sorry, uh...’m sorry dude.” He whispered, staring at a black chalk board hanging up, listing the night’s soup specials in cursive.

Eric couldn’t look at him either. The table with the old couple seated and eating lamb looked infinitely more interesting than Kyle’s face right now.

“There’s obviously a lot more to this thing than I thought, Cartman.”

“........Are you....calling me Cartman because you’re....uncomfortable with me?”

“No.” Kyle looked at him briefly to prove his point.  
“I’m not. It just....happened.”

“That’s ok...” Eric nodded. “A lot of things just happened, didn’t they? Heh.” His joke fell flat, even for him.

Kyle didn’t say anything, just kept on staring anywhere but him. Eric was feeling sort of queasy now.

“I just wanted to, to make sure, you know.... call me whatever. I don’t care...”

ShiiiT. Was he making this awkward? 

Should he tell Kyle something about how much he just loved having cum in his ass or something to make him feel better? Hell, if it would kill this awkwardness, he’d do it. Maybe if he said he liked it they could just move on. 

After all, this whole thing was about FIXING what they had done. That’s why they were out here tonight. Kyle’s words were much nicer. He called it, ‘making things right’. Boy they wished it was that easy.

As the silence stretched on, the two began to naturally shift away from the other and that was a very not good sign.

Eric should definitely just say he was cool with it. Yeah, that would move things along.

He took a deep breath just as Kyle turned towards him.

“Shit, i-I should have pulled out.” / “I like it in my ass. I think. W-wait?”

“Okaaaaayyyy, you two.” Kenny returned, looking ready to kill over from walking in on their greatest public outburst yet. He handed their boxes to Kyle.

“Take it on home now. You two have a lot to talk about.” He tried not to laugh at Kyle’s scarlet face, even if he deserved it.  
That’s karma for you.

Kenny didn’t stay to see them off. The boss kept Kenny in the ringer about being idle. 

Kyle looked between the boxes, Kenny’s retreating back, and Eric pulling at his coat zipper. 

Back to square one it seemed. This reminded him all too much about the night they confessed to each other.

The walk back to Cartman’s house was painful to say the least. Eric kept stealing glances up at Kyle and walked just slightly behind the redhead boy, looking up at his back. Kyle could sense his eyes on him but he could FEEL the hesitance in Eric’s stare. 

 

They made it back and Eric scrambled inside his house and threw his keys on the nightstand beside the couch.

Immediately he took his seat. Not waiting for Kyle to give him his food or even finish locking the door.

Kyle put the food on the nightstand and started taking off his jacket. The hat stayed on by default, though unsurprisingly.

Eric looked over to see what he had on underneath and regretted being nosy when the image of Kyle wearing a black turtle neck with long sleeves came into view.

It was VERY becoming of him. 

He ducked his head away before Kyle caught him looking. He noticed how frumpy he looked in comparison. His red t-shirt was also very form fitting, but his form was definitely not like Kyle’s.

Kyle saw him on the other end of the sofa, staring angrily about something. 

“Cartman?”

Eric’s head popped up.

“Uh. You ok dude?”

“Oh.” Eric’s eyes began to dance around the room, looking for something to focus on. His eyes settled on the tv.

“Uh, yeah. Just thinking I left the remote in the kitchen. Be right back.”

Kyle watched him run to the kitchen, a bit confused, then turned to getting their food ready. He pulled the piano bench over like a table. Something his mother would slap his knuckles for.

Eric didn’t seem to mind though, throwing the remote on the couch and taking his seat again. This time much closer so they could share the bench.

It was squished but they could manage to share the little space with some success. Minus the stepping on feet and elbowing arms.

Unfortunately, as Eric dropped the remote and leaned down to reach for it, their legs bumped each other right as Kyle was taking a sip of his drink. Cold sprite spilled in his lap and he jumped off the sofa.

“Fuck! I got your sofa wet.”

“Nice going, klutz.”

“YOU bumped my leg! I was being nice about it.”

“Poor, sweet Kyle, never your fault is it?”

“Fuck you, get a towel.”

 

Eric snickered and left to get a dirty towel out of the laundry room. He stopped, dropping it back in the hamper and getting a clean one from the linen closet.

“Here.” He came back and threw it at Kyle’s face. 

Kyle pinched the crotch of his pants away from his skin and started fiercely rubbing the towel over it.

Eric tried not to watch him, fully acknowledging the anatomy that lay just beneath. It made his cheeks burn.

Ok, really? If thinking about Kyle’s long limbs and watching him rub a towel over his junk was going to make Eric a blushing, virgin mess, they should just stop now.

He was not going to make a fool of himself again. Not like that time he....he begged. 

If he had never said those magic words, ‘Kahl, please’, well they wouldn’t have ended up here. Kyle would have just stuck to kissing him and Eric would have had enough dignity to keep his legs closed.

Kyle stopped wiping when he noticed the many contortions of Eric’s face. He wanted to ask him what was wrong again, but he didn’t want to sound like a nagging mother.

Theoretically, there was plenty wrong, and Kyle really should try to be less dense. 

He just spilled sprite on his couch, the movie night was canceled, he couldn’t even get his arm on Eric’s shoulders properly when they were walking, and Eric HAD to have noticed that. Eric was more anxious about this date night than KYLE was, and to top it off-

They got the news he just came inside Eric. 

 

“What’s wrong with you, now?” Eric’s eyes followed the blush that traveled down Kyle’s turtle neck.

He jolted. Eric’s real voice was a jarring comparison when he had just been remembering the sighs and moans that voice had made before. It made Kyle swallow and squirm.

 

“This is just cold.” He mummered.

“Then why does your face look hot?”

“Why did yours five minutes ago?”

 

Eric blinked then shied away and began to pick at his nails. Did he look like that five minutes ago? Shit.

He sighed after a minute of thinking about how stupid all this was.

“Kyle, I think we’re not being as real here as we were hoping to be.”

 

“What do you mean?” Kyle sat back on the sofa. Was Eric calling it quits already?

“Well for one we can’t say what’s on our minds even though somethings clearly eating us up.”

 

True they were beating around the bush again. Kenny would face palm if he knew. GOD only knew what Stan had in store for them and if they ruined his plans now after yelling about how great all the tension between them being gone was.....

 

“Two?“ Kyle asked. He was determined to see this date through if nothing else. He needed more reason than being dumb about their feelings to give up.

 

“And two... I’ve been....having thoughts that I shouldn’t say, even if I COULD.”

 

That sparked Kyle’s interest.  
“Oh?”

 

“Yeah I...i keep thinking about THAT night. Um, like a lot. I’m having a hard time with the little stuff when I’ve had a taste of the big picture. Yo-you know what I mean?” Eric was blushing down to his chest. There was no hiding that from Kyle.

The ginger boy swallowed. Eyes dancing around the room as he searched for something encouraging to say. What he came up with wasn’t flawless, but it would hopefully calm Eric’s nerves.

“It’s obvious we want this to continue. I know I want it to. We just have.....so much baggage. And then after a history like ours we throw having sex in the mix.” Kyle turned white and red at the same time. This was definitely not helping his own jitters.

“I don’t think this is about to get any less awkward anytime soon, so if you can just bear with more of this....um, uncomfortableness....we can eventually get somewhere....somewhere normal with it. I think.”

That seemed to be enough of the right things mixed with the dumb to give Eric the courage he needed. 

He looked up with wide eyes, deep pools of honey, shy but open. Wanting to give Kyle the same kind of security his words gave Eric.

Kyle’s tongue turned to lead. His heart was in his throat, yet he was determined to hit home.

“I-I’m sure of it!”

Eric nodded, small smile on his lips as he ducked his head. He felt so much better now. Poor Kyle must be exhausted dealing with so many of his insecurities in one night, but Kyle hadn’t ran away yet. For better or worse, Kyle was there to see Eric’s latest madness through and nothing made Kyle quit on him. He wasn’t going to start now.

And that was all Eric needed to hear. 

 

“Annnd....maybe in the meantime, we ummm quit trying to suppress so much??” Kyle added in a murmur.

Eric whipped his head around. That sounded promising.  
“Like, how do you mean?”

“Well...like... maybe we...Uh...”

Kyle turned his body towards him and put one arm over the top of the couch.

Was Eric reading this right??

Kyle’s heavy eyelids, flushed cheeks, looking away, and leaning in with a nervous shiver.

YES this was totally it! It would be the first time since THAT night! The second time that they would.... THAT THEY WOULD KISS! Their second kiss!!

Eric’s eyes nearly rolled back as he flutterted them shut. His mouth opened like a tiny ‘o’, waiting. He leaned forward on his hands and tilted his head back to meet the height of Kyle’s mouth.

 

Kyle stared with eyes wide as saucers and mouth gaping. 

What was Eric...? Was he trying to kiss him?! 

Kyle swallowed. Eric kept coming in closer, head tilting even farther. In a few seconds, they would touch. Their lips would touch.

“I-i was gonna say hold hands next time!” He blurted, regretting it instantly. 

Eric’s eyes snapped open and he sat back against the other side of the couch so fast, he knocked their drinks over again.

He rushed to pick the cups up, face blistering red, and grabbed the towel from the floor to start mopping.

Fuck Fuck FUCK FUCK

JESUS, of COURSE! It was way too soon. They had spent the last week together, but only with friends around and that time didn’t count.

This was only the second date!! You gave night kisses on the second date. Like on the CHEEK. Not this!? Fuck!!

Eric’s mopping became slightly frantic. If he didn’t get a hole in his lip from biting it so hard, he would get a hole in his fingers from scrubbing the skin off. Why hadn’t liane switched to hardwood already!

A hand closed around his wrist. He hadn’t realized he had gotten down on the floor until he saw two teal clad knees nestled in the carpet beside him.

Kyle’s voice was probably deeper than he had intended it to be, but Eric always responded well to that sort of thing. Especially now with his mouth so close to his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what a cliff hanger. So action packed


	3. Smudge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumb, nonsensical drama ahead  
> Seriosuly

A shudder ran through him as Eric gripped the towel in one hand and the carpet in the other.

Did Kyle really just say THAT? It was just like that night. He was so....outspoken. So...brazen then.

If he could be so unusually bold at the time, Eric supposed it wasn’t such a leap he was being so now. It’s just....well.....he had disguised it so well??

Kyle had been pretty distant all week. Eric didn’t know if that was because of regret or uncertainty, but either way Eric didn’t blame him. He become so clingy after their first time and really he should have understood Kyle would have more negative feelings about that. Kyle was not a clingy person by nature and they were virtually opposites in everything.

But NOW, he was saying things in his ear and Eric couldn’t help wondering if had he had been reading Kyle all wrong.

Eric swallowed. Through all his shock, he was sure he had heard Kyle right.

“Kiss me.” 

 

He shut his eyes, turning his head towards the mouth at his throat.

He could feel their proximity. He could feel Kyle’s lips were above his.

His eyes opened a crack and Kyle waited until they were fully seeing him before he seized the opportunity. He wanted Eric to know he WAS completely on board. That Kyle wanted this, too. Eric had been embarrassed enough about his feelings for one night and Kyle was going to put those anxieties to rest right now. 

 

Eric wet his lips, eyes searching Kyle’s. It was so damn hot on the floor with Kyle’s chest pushed into his shoulder.

This scene was a familiar one. Heavy tension, shy glances, then - kiss.

It was just like that night. There was no rushing, no biting, no hesitance once the kiss had begun. Simply two life long rivals pouring all their feelings into a kiss.

It was long like the first time, too. They had to breathe out of their noses when it became clear they were determined not to let go. But it was inevitable they couldn’t stay that way forever.

A wet pop followed their lips parting and a string of spit connecting their mouths together stuck between them. 

Eric swallowed, face flushed. Kyle looked positively ethereal. His lips were swollen and his eyes steely, like he was hungry for more. 

Suddenly, Kyle’s eyes began to grow wide and he pulled away, wiping the string of spit from his chin and staring at it in horror.

 

FUCK!! 

Why the hell did he LOOK?!?!

H-he was already.... 

Against his better judgement, he looked down to confirm it. 

 

“UM I SHOULD GET GOING ITS LATE!” Kyle jumped up and started pulling on his jacket.

“Wha-?” Eric was still starry eyed. He weakly reached out for Kyle’s shirt to pull him down withwhen his hand brushed against a very prominent bulge in Kyle’s jeans.

Eric’s eyes snapped open.

Oh shit. It was happening again. Just like THAT night. They were going to do it again, they were going to fuck. And then they would be stuck in an eternal loop of trying to make up for it with awkward dates that didn’t go anywhere but inside each others pants, and they’d never be able to move in togETHER, AND SHARE A BATHROOM OR A CAR BECAUSE THIS WAS ALL THEY HAD WAS FUCKING-

Eric’s legs opened instinctually. His body screaming at him to hurry up and get started ‘getting dirty’. 

Just because he knew the consequences didn’t mean he was going to heed them. Oh hell no.

“Oh.” He moaned shakily. “K-Kahl I-“

Kyle was gone. Like, long gone. 

 

Eric bolted upright and stood on his wobbly legs. He looked around the room. There was no sign of Kyle anywhere. He rushed through the house searching every room but there was still no Kyle.

He stood on the staircase in silence, then he got an idea. Carefully he crept down to the basement stairs.

“Kahl?” He called softly. No answer. He looked over the railing to see if he would find Kyle sticking out of their safe place.

A block of ice settled in his gut as he hopped down the rest of the stairs. He came around and pulled the curtain away with shaky hands. No Kyle. 

Cartman was alone. He swallowed, telling himself to try and be reasonable. Something like this wouldn’t have upset him just a few hours earlier in the night.

The therapist told him he wasn’t going to get over his abandonment issues if he kept basing his needs off of long term interaction. The more they hung out, the more he decided Kyle was in charge of his happiness rather than himself. And the more he felt Kyle to be an object in a way to be kept and owned than a person who could leave at anytime, the harder it was to accept him going.

The dr said that Eric would have to learn to be ok with that too, because Kyle was a person and rejection was a part of life. At anytime Kyle could call this whole thing quits and Eric would have to embrace and accept it, no matter how life shatteringly painful THAT would be.

Eric didn’t want to think about any of that right now, as much as he probably should to keep a realistic spin on things. All it did was make his head hurt and the block of ice was only getting colder.

 

He slouched up the stairs, wondering where exactly it had all went wrong. A buzzing caught his ear and his head popped up. 

Kyle?!

He ran to the sofa and snatched his phone, then read the dreaded text with hope in his heart.

‘Sorry! Had to run! See you at Stan’s house tomorrow!’

 

The text did nothing to heal his heartache, but his abandonment issues seemed to be pushed back a little more. It wasn’t the first thing on his mind anyway.

 

................

Fuck.

 

“Clyde, kiss higher.”

“Here?”

“Yes, right there.”

“Like this?”

“Ok, when a girl asks you to kiss her, you don’t ask if you’re doing good or not.”

“Girls never ask that. And this is a lesson, shouldn’t I be allowed to ask questions when I want?”

“True and yes. I’m just worried since you haven’t stopped asking about it ONCE. I don’t want to encourage the habit outside of this session.”

“You won’t- I won’t, I promise! I got this!!”

 

“Clyde?”

“Yeah?”

“This is about a girl isn’t it?”

“OH YEAH! Yes! Definitely. Yes I-“

*thump thump thump*

“Who’s at your door?”

“I don’t know. Hang on. And don’t practice on my pillows. Those are real silk cases.”

 

Bebe scaled the staircase that ended at her front door. She stopped to brush her skirt down and fluff her hair. She glanced herself over in the mirror.

*thump thump thump*

She jumped back, hand on her heart.

“JESUS. Ok.”  
She opened it and wasn’t surprised at all to find who was there.

“Bebe it happened again! We were kissing and I g-“

“Got an erection. You know I’m one of two sex gurus right? The other is Kenny who happens to be an expert on all male anatomy matters.”

“No, not like you.”

“You mean he’d laugh at you. Or praise you. Either way he wouldn’t be any help.”

“Right! But also....could you please tell me how to last longer when things get... heavy?”

Bebe raised an eyebrow.

“I can’t make it past the first threshold.”

“It’s Called first base.”

 

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Kyle, try counting in your head.” Bebe went to close the door.

A pair of green gloves slithered their way in and tried to keep her from crushing them out.

She glared, eyes angry slits, and pushed a little harder.

“Ow! Bebe, please! You helped me before!”

“I told you to assert yourself and you punched Eric’s boyfriend in the face.”

“It worked! We’re together now. Please Bebe, i-“

She opened the door off of Kyle’s screaming hands

“Ok cool it. I’ve got a client upstairs.”

Kyle took a few deep breaths and tried to look as humble as he could. Thank GOD.

“Go sit in my living room.”

“Thank you, Bebe!”

“50 up front.”

“50?” 

“I’m about to hear a lot of things I rather not. 50. And before you ask, I’ll tell you. i want to know what on earth is going through your head when you start kissing him. Whatever it is, that’s what’s making you hard.”

 

“JEEEEESUS. I wasn’t GOING to ask.” Kyle covered his face and sat in the first chair available. He fished out his wallet and paid the price. Bebe happily trotted back upstairs.

He could hear Clyde’s voice, asking Bebe when a good time to come back was.

“I’ll call you.” She said, ushering him down the stairs.

 

Clyde offered Kyle a sad, understanding nod as he passed by. Kyle wasn’t here on a social call either. The two hung their heads in shame.

“Alright Kyle.” Bebe came back from the kitchen, running a napkin over her throat. “Upstairs, ‘less you want to talk about it out here.”

“No. Let’s go somewhere with a locked door.”

 

“You got it tiger.”

He marched upstairs and took his seat in her bedroom. He hated how this was becoming a habit for them.

“Get comfy.” She locked the door.

Kyle sat on her bed, much like all their sessions, and she sat across from him at her desk. 

“Start from the beginning.” She said lacing her fingers together and scooting forward.

Kyle remembered the first time he had come to her about all the calamity following the ‘camping trip.’ He didn’t even feel like he should be here, much more telling her his feelings. But Bebe knew the kids in this town. She knew each and every one of them and Bebe kept herself up to date with the latest business and the usual drama. For good reason. She specialized in fixing these kinds of things. If you came knocking at her door, you wouldn’t be disappointed.

She was so much easier to talk to now that she had sat through every one of Kyle’s nitty gritty details about Eric in previous sessions. And boy there were a LOT. It took a lot of work to get them out of him.

“We went out tonight. On a date.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“Yeah, well, we fought a bunch.”

“You fought on your first date?”

Kyle shrugged. “He didn’t want people to see us.”

“And you were fine if they did?”

“Well I wasn’t thrilled, but I wasn’t looking over my shoulder every ten seconds.”

 

“Mm. Do you feel that’s a problem you need to address?”

 

“No I’m fine with it. I understand where he’s coming from. That’s not what I’m here for.”

“Yes.” She looked him over, head to toe, taking in his disheveled appearance. Eric didn’t live far from her house so she knew that deep flush wasn’t from running a block.  
“You’re here to talk about kissing- and your little problem.”

 

Kyle hated how that made him blush.  
“Um.” He bit his lip. “Yeah.”

“Hmm. Kyle tell me about the kiss.”

 

He swallowed and blinked a few times.  
“It...I mean... it was great.”

 

“Sounds like it was better than that.”

“It...” Kyle’s ears were turning pink.

“I think...so..” he mumbled.

“Clearly. Kyle?”

She stood from her chair, walking around her desk and coming to sit by him on the bed. Her hand found his shoulder.

“This is pretty damn normal for a teenage boy with his first crush.”

“Cartman was not my first crush. Not by a fucking mile.” There was so much venom in his voice, it actually surprised her.

 

“Sorry, I meant: first real boyfriend. You haven’t dated anyone before this, and I think you’re just having a hard time transitioning at a later age because you skipped it early on.”

 

“Would that really have made a difference?”

 

“I think so. You’re 18 with your FIRST ever boyfriend. This is something you should have done battle with a while ago.”

“FucK!” Kyle buried his face in his hand and leaned forward on his knees. 

“I keep skipping steps?! It’s so frustrating.” 

Bebe didn’t like seeing anybody this upset. Not even that bitch Mily. She rubbed his back and put on her best motherly voice.

“Shh, it’s ok baby. I’ve got something that should help.”

“You do?” Kyle picked his head off his hand and stared up at her miserably.

“I think so, yes. This is a little more serious than thinking about grandpa naked. We need Eric to be less attractive.”

“Impossible. I MEAN-“

“Don’t worry ROMEO,” Bebe giggled, not even trying to hide it. “I’ll just ignore that.”

“Then why are you laughing!”

“Because it’s pretty sad Kyle. You’re so lovesick.”

“Fuck you. I gave you $50.”

“Speaking of, she fished the $50 from her pocket. Take Eric out on a REAL date where you two aren’t drowning in your hormones and more importantly, aren’t somewhere you can do something about it. You take him to the movies, FOR REAL this time, sit him down at a nice restaurant, quick peck on the lips, no erections.”

 

He stared at the 50. Grateful Bebe was throwing him a freebie. But-

“That’s it. You think THAT will fix all my problems? How does that make him less attractive exactly?”

“I do. Having an audience watching over you guys should help you focus on other things than Eric. This makes him less attractive.”

“That logic is so flawed, though.”

“Look, all I know is Kyle brovflovski doesn’t get public erections, and Eric does not relive October 7th all over again because his boyfriend isn’t having animal urges.”

“You REMEMBER the date??”

“You don’t? What is wrong with you, it was your FIRST TIME Kyle. That makes it so special!”

“WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!”

 

“What,” she squinted and tried to make sense of his outburst. What kind of question was that? 

“It was your first time together so obviously-OH MY GOD!” Bebe screamed, jumping off the bed so fast, she stepped on and crushed a cup sitting on the floor with her heels. 

“Cartman took your virginity!” 

 

Kyle stood, towering over her, but with no more intimidation than a frightened kitten. Kyle was about to hit the panic button. 

“Bebe, shut up!”

“THIS IS SOOO much worse than I thought!” Was she enjoying this or was she worried???

“What do you mean!”

“Don’t freak out.”

“YOU’RE freaking me out!? What does it mean?! Am I always going to get hard when we kiss TELL ME?!”

“Kyle MAYBE!” She was grinning like a Cheshire Cat now. Her shock had dissipated now.

 

“Kyle why didn’t you mention he was your first time?!”

“It’s not a big deal.” No matter how he swallowed, his voice remained hoarse.

“He’s your FIRST! You totally love him!”

“I LITERALLY CAN NOT LOVE HIM. ITS DATE NUMBER ONE.”

 

“Okaay, tell your dick that. It doesn’t know any different. It thinks you’ve made a bond with each other.”

 

“Bebe! This is serious! I think!? Is it serious or not?! What do I do now?! Am I a lost cause?!”

“Quit spiraling and let me think.”

Bebe stood there, looking over the tall boy of nerves and grinning occasionally at all the madness. 

“I’m going to have to call in some help.”

 

“NOBODY ELSE CAN KNOW DUDE. I. AM. SERIOUS.”

“Oh, Kyle, I need to bring in an outside opinion-“

“NO! ERIC CANT HEAR ABOUT THIS!” Kyle hated the fact he was stuttering.

“Why not? He’d be smitten. I think that’s been his dream for as long as he’s known you.”

“Sick.”

“Hey he’s a sick guy. And you fell for him.”

 

“I...he...” Kyle blushed scarlet. He wanted to argue desperately that they weren’t in love. He wouldn’t win his case with all the incriminating evidence laid out. There was no convincing a girl that your first time wasn’t some soul-binding, love contract.

“I’m just calling in Nicole.”

“N-Nicole?” Kyle visibly relaxed, his shoulders slumping. 

“Yes, honey Nicole. We’re gonna do some talking and get back to you alright?”

“Wait, what do I do until then?”

“Mm, ask for some space for a bit. Eric will understand.”

“Oh. Ok...”. 

No seeing Eric? But they were set to hang out at Stan’s place tomorrow night. Maybe he should hang out, then tell him afterwards. But what if he tried to kiss him again?! Kyle wanted to believe he could handle one kiss but....if Bebe thought it ran deeper than self control....he better not risk it...

 

Bebe had everything worked out with Nicole. She’d been in a similar situation before as Kyle was now, and she remembered the lust and blood rush. She wasn’t nearly as bad as Kyle. Her epidemic was more about being too emotionally attached. When they broke up, Nicole was miserable and she couldn’t shake the need to be with her ex and enjoy her new relationships. She wanted Kyle and Cartman to avoid anything that put a wedge in their relationship. She happily agreed to help.

Bebe was pretty pleased with herself. Another case closed, and probably the most problematic, iffy couple in existence no less. Yet Bebe had conquered it single handedly.

Or so she thought. It wasn’t until Kenny was pounding down her door at 12 am while she had Heidi sleeping over that she decided she may have made one of the biggest mistakes possible for those two.

 

“Bebe!” Kenny was gripping her door frame with white knuckles, breathing hard. He must of ran over.

“Uh-“

“Did Kyle come by here?”

“Yeah, a few nights ago.”

“What did he talk to you about?”

“He just wanted some advice.”

“About what!”

“Ken, that’s confidential and you know it.”

 

“Well he isn’t talking to Eric anymore!”

 

“That doofus. I told him to play it cool, not IGNORE him.”

“Why would you tell him something like that!?!”

Bebe sighed and starting rubbing her temples. “He’s having some problems ok. Personal problems. It has nothing to do with Eric, Kyle just can’t seem to understand his own body. It’s making him stupid.”

 

“Eric is freaking me out!! It’s like he’s caving in on himself. He’s- he’s a complete shut in.”

Bebe blinked, her hands stopped rubbing.

“He didn’t eat all day and he’s been in his bedroom for the last two. DUDE, Bebe, for Eric to MISS a meal-“

“Yes I know that’s pretty spectacular....”

She looked over her shoulder to see if they had woken up Heidi. She turned back to Kenny and to say he looked worse for wear was an understatement. Kenny knew Eric better than she did.

“Well...what could that mean?”

“Only one thing I can think of. Just come see.” 

Bebe nodded and left to write Heidi a note out on the kitchen table. She locked the doors and stepped out into the freezing mountain air. She was only wearing her red robe so Kenny was nice enough to piggy back her and keep her slipper boots from getting wet.

Eric’s front door was unlocked. Kenny put her down once inside, just as Butters came creeping down the stairs.

“He’s in his room.” He swallowed nervously. If Kenny couldn’t help and Bebe couldn’t help...maybe there was no helping Eric at all.

She fluffed her hair out and straightened her robe.  
“Alright.” She sighed. 

She followed the weary duo upstairs and into Eric’s room.

The room was dark, except for the tiny night light on his dresser. She could just make out a ball of covers on the bed. 

Butters came behind her and twiddled his thumbs.  
“That’s him there. Doesn’t he just look awful? Tell him what you and Kyle talked about, please!”

“Definitely not. He’s the last person Kyle would want to know.”

 

“He won’t talk to us. Bebe please. Just tell him you talked to Kyle. Maybe he will tell you what’s wrong.” Kenny said putting his arm over Leo.

 

“I’ll try but don’t expect much. I really can’t disclose anything we discussed.”

Kenny gave her a look which she shot right back. He knew her hands were tied and she wouldn’t expect him to break the code.

The room was pristine as always as Eric was a perfectionist at heart. She came over to the bed and took a moment gather her thoughts. This was a delicate operation.

“Cartman?” She whispered, taking a seat beside the body of blankets crunched into a tight little ball.

“Your friends want me to talk you.”

A weak voice came from under the covers.  
“I heard. I’m not deaf.”

“So you heard that Kyle and I had a talk, too..”

“.......uh huh.”

“Cartman, I never told him to stop talking to you. I tried to give him some guidance about a problem he was having and i think he took it too seriously. Honestly I’m as confused as you are. Kyle is such a free spirit, he must really be worried if he doesn’t trust his own instincts.”

Silence.

Bebe leaned in a bit.

“I think I can help you but I need to know what happened. If I don’t then I won’t know where I went wrong. Please.”

Silence. The covers shifted some. 

Bebe stole a glance at Kenny and his worried boyfriend. She shrugged in a way to say there was nothing more she could do when the covers started to rustle. 

Suddenly a face and messy brown hair peaked out from the comforter.

She felt a bit of relief, but she had to tread lightly from here.

“Please. Tell me exactly what you guys were doing that night. I can help you.”

She heard him swallow. Then he nodded. 

“‘Kay”

“Start from the beginning.” Bebe resisted the urge to sigh. Not because she wasn’t taking this seriously, but because every session started off this way. It was become mentally exhausting, as much as she loved the thrill of fixing things. Maybe she should look into only doing sex counseling and let Kenny do the emotional attachement crisises.

 

“We were making out and the next thing I know he ran off on me. He texted me and said we’d hang out at Stan’s house, but he avoided me the whole time we were there. I couldn’t get him alone for 3 minutes on the couch to tell him I was sorry.

“Then before I know it, it’s been 3 days and counting and he still- he still -“ Cartman began to take deep, gasping breaths. Like he was about to cry.... “He still Ha-hasn’t called me or hung ou-out.”

Tears. Oh, Bebe was SO ready to be done with this. She put on a brave face everytime but she sucked at comforting people. That was more of Nicole and Butters’ thing, but dammit, she’d try.

She ran her hand over where his arm would be.  
“....He left you when you were kisisng?”

GOD, please tell her Kyle wasn’t that dumb.

Eric sniffled but nodded yes.

“Did he text you anything else since??”

“Yeah some.... but it’s been so deflecting. Like he doesn’t have time for me.”

Bebe watched the brunette shiver beneath the blankets. He was trying so hard to keep it together.

“Cartman, listen to me. Please. Kyle didn’t want you to know this, but he is struggling with dating you harder than he imagined he would. He’s afraid it will be like that night, you know, you’re first time. And you know Kyle’s gigantic moral compass keeps him from just chilling out sometimes, I don’t have to tell you that. He really, REALLY wants to make this right.”

“So why is he making everything wrong!” His voice was cracking.

Bebe swallowed. Here was the tricky part.

“He’s been....having some difficulty-“

“I know- I tried to kiss him when we were sitting on the couch and he backed off and I should have read that as a sign to back off too! But I didn’t! I shouldn’t have thought he wasn’t just totally forcing himself to kiss me back afterwards. Of course he would try to ‘make things right’ again after I fucked up. I always fuck up and Kyle always tries to fix it.

“He didn’t want to kiss me Bebe! He only did it because I made such a big deal about it and-“

“Cartman! Kyle got excited. You knoooow, EXCITED. Cough-cough, hint-hint. He got excited and he didn’t want you to have to go through that night all OVER again and that’s ALL. It’s not about him not WANTING you.”

“That night was the best night of my life!”

“Kyle thinks so too!!”

 

Eric blinked several times but tried to focus on what Bebe was saying.

“He’s afraid he’s going to end up.....doing you again and you haven’t even gotten through one date yet. Not ONE. Kyle doesn’t want a quick fuck, that’s not news to anybody.”

“So what if he DOES do me again?” The dark hid his blush perfectly. His stutter, however.....

“He doesn’t understand how much you really want this. You spent the whole night on your first date freaking out about someone seeing you. Can you see how he’d be a tad bit worried about sex then?”

“I-I...I can.” Suddenly Eric felt HORRIBLE about the whole thing. He felt like someone had just dunked cold water over his head. He hadn’t thought for a second about Kyle feeling unwanted. Sure Kyle was no sap about rejection. He brushed it off immediately everytime. Leslie, Heidi, Rebecca, Alan. But Kyle always did have a soft spot for personal boundaries. He took them very seriously, Kyle was very respectful. 

If he thought Eric didn’t even want to be seen with him....

 

“You two just need to learn to talk to eachother. There is so much confusion and so many unanswered questions. Which would be fine if you hadn’t done the dirty deed FIRST.”

Bebe watched how his face lit up and was visible even in the dim room. She felt bad for her outburst, as true as it was.

“I know you’re right.” He murmured.

“I’ll tell you the same thing I tell Kyle. If I’m harsh with you, it’s only because I care.”

“I know. You’re not wrong. But it’s just... The last time we talked about things we tried to fuck....The first time we talked about things, we DID fuck.”

Bebe was about ready to pull her hair out by the handfuls.

“So FUCK! If your body keeps telling  
you to do it, do it! You’re young, you like eachother. Hell I’d say a little more than like, wouldn’t you? Just DO it if it’s all you can think about and it sounds like it is!”

 

“I WANTED TO! HE ran off. I ....stayed.” Eric started sniffling again.

 

Bebe turned over to look at Kenny who was leaning on the door frame. Butters was pinching his fingers together and looking between the two. He hoped they had a plan to save Eric, but things were turning out none too promising

 

She thought about it carefully a moment before she decided drastic measures were in order.

“Call Wendy and Stan.” Bebe stood from the bed after giving Eric a quick pat.

 

“Tell them Kyle walked out on Eric. Wendy will take it from there.”

“Whoa, Kyle didn’t-“ / “Won’t that end badly!?”

“No. She’ll do exactly what I just did with Kyle. She can get him to talk. Once he realizes what he’s done, and trust me, that’s the only way, he’ll come to his senses and run right back into Eric’s arms.

“Clearly these two just need someone else to talk to until they get their feelings straightened out. Someone they won’t fuck.”

Eric flushed and hid under the covers.

“I know it sounds like I’m jumping the gun here, Ken. But Wendy will be as good a medium for Kyle as I was for Cartman. I’ve only known him all our lives and Wendy is a weathered scholar of all things Kyle. She was the first in your lot to realize Kyle had a crush on Cartman.”

“I thought Butters was,” Kenny said in surprise.

“I told Butters.” Eric murmured under the covers.

“There you have it. Get Wendy on the phone.”


	4. Reapplying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are an immeasurable amount of mistakes in here :,3 I wish I could save you all from them but my patient is in the hospital and that has all my devoted brain power
> 
> Making up and Halloween junk

“Kyle, breathe you’re not being rational.”

“I’m being as rational as I could POSSIBLY be right now! What don’t you understand, he needs me! He thinks I left him Wendy?!”

“Which is stupid, because you just told me you’ve been texting him.”

“Like twice and they were all, hold on-“

Kyle whipped his phone out and scrolled through Eric’s messages

“‘Sorry, talk more later.’ That was after Stan’s house. And ‘sorry kind of busy’. Do those sound like boyfriend texts?! No! It’s sounds like we broke up!”

“Did you break up with him?” 

“NO!”

“Then you didn’t break up, so don’t worry!”

“But Bebe said-“

“Yeah, I think Bebe was probably over reacting. Geez....I wish she had called my cell instead of the house phone. I have no idea what she said to Stan, but it’s sent him into a tangent. I think he’s just made you crazier.”

“I think I’M crazier!” Stan yelled from the kitchen. He walked into the living room where Kyle was pacing back and forth and Wendy was trying to calm him.

“Kyle after everything?! I watched you punch a guy for him, and then you’re just gonna run out?! Like, fuck, I know it’s Cartman, but we made a promise when we were little we would never become the awful men are fathers were to our wives.”

Kyle‘s throat was starting to burn. 

“Stan hush! Kyle what did you do exactly?”

“He walked out on Cartman when he needed him most!” Stan yelled, fists shaking.

“He....needed me?” Kyle whispered.

“Stan! Honey PLEASE. You know Bebe exaggerates. Kyle-“

Stan came over to Kyle and looked up at him with tears pricking his eyes.

“I don’t even know my best friend anymore!”

Kyle nearly fainted. Between Stan’s look of betrayal and hearing Cartman thought he was walking out on him, this was almost more emotional overload than when Cartman confessed to him. 

Wendy felt obligated to help her boyfriend, when he was like this, but Kyle was one of her closest friends. And he needed her more right now. 

She came and stood between them. Wendy was no pixie stick, she was Stan’s height actually. But she really didn’t want to break up a fight between the two of them with those muscles on their side.

“Stan why are you being so damn emotional?!”

“Because KYLE is turning into his dad and I don’t want a skanhunt FOR A FRIEND!” 

“I’m s-sorry st-Stan.”

Both their eyes were watering now. Wendy was on the edge of just losing it.

“Oh my GOD! Baby, relax. Kyle will never be, under any circumstance, his dad. He’s a living clone of his mother anyway.”

“That’s not-“

“Yes, you ARE. Only you and your mother could worry about something as stupid as farting on a kid show or texts to your boyfriend becoming a breakup. You both overreact LIKE CRAZY. How could you have broken up with your boyfriend without your own knowledge, Kyle. That totally doesn’t add up.”

“Well, sometimes I say things without meaning to, and I don’t even realize.”

“No, you don’t, Kyle. Unlike your counterpart, you think before you talk. If you make a choice, you do it WITH purpose. This whole thing is making you question yourself. The Kyle I know wouldn’t let himself lose faith in his own judgement.”

“I.....”

Kyle looked beside her at Stan who looked more confused about his feelings than angry anymore. Kyle was confused, too, and he HATED being confused. It was foreign to him and he always made bad decisions when he was.

“You need to march over there and have an adult conversation with Cartman.”

Kyle was white as a sheet.

“I know. It’s just..... I can’t because........because....”

Wendy stood there waiting for him to explain to her in GREAT detail a good reason for NOT doing what she just said. He hated when she gave him that look.

Kyle swallowed. Whenever she crossed her arms, it always meant the conversation had ended, even if he didn’t want it to. There was no arguing with her now.

He didn’t want to, anyway. The first thing on his mind when he found out about all this mess was to go running back to Eric, and tell him again and again how sorry he was and that HE made a mistake and Cartman didn’t have to worry ever again. 

Yeah he should definitely go do that.  
Kyle idly checked his back pocket for his wallet and turned towards the front door.

 

“Hold it.” Wendy stopped him. He turned towards looking anxious to leave.

“You need to go over there with a plan. You do have a plan don’t you? You know what you’re gonna say?”

“Uh, um.....”

“Kyle, that’s not going to fix this mess. Think about it first. Think about it so you can tell Eric what he needs to hear. Think.”

With that, Wendy had lectured him all she could without pressing on his authority issues. 

“Come on, Stan.” Wendy led him off to the kitchen. He followed solemnly. 

Kyle listened mournfully at the fading conversation. Topics he was all to familiar with.

“My dad left mom when Shelly got pregnant. He just left us all, and mom had to get two jobs, and I didn’t see her all of high school hardly. Like three nights a week. And Shelly had to have-“

“I know. I know. Kyle’s not like that. YOU are not like that. You won’t be your dad. Your sweet and caring, and so is Kyle deep down-“ 

The talking phased out, and Kyle was left alone in Wendy’s living room with enough emotional weight to break a scale.

Fuck.

 

He sat on her front steps. Little snow flurries were coming down, coating his lashes in white before he blinked them away.

Think.  
What should he say to him?  
I’m sorry and I miss you?  
I ran off because you gave me a boner.  
Because we KISSED.  
I’m a loser when it comes to feelings.  
I really like you and I want this to work.  
We fucked and now I feel morally obligated to make his right.  
We fucked and now I feel emotionally attached and like like you.  
So let me fix this.

He took his phone out and debated calling and warning him that he was coming over. Eric totally digged romantic things; was it more romantic to just show up? If he did that, maybe he should bring flowers. Or write something poetic to show he was really sorry. Fuck, Kyle could write poems that would shame the goth kids. That was like, his SKILL, albeit hidden an entirely unknown to others. He could do that, no he SHOULD do that. 

His fingers began to absently trace the familiar buttons to his photo album on their own. Like a habit. It WAS a habit. They pulled up the picture Kyle liked to stare at and curse himself for being creepy for.

 

It was a picture taken at Kenny’s house the day after THAT night. Eric fell asleep on Kyle’s thigh, and he couldn’t resist snapping a shot of it when the others weren’t looking.

It was the same picture of serenity he saw after they came and were laying together. Eric turned over on his stomach, cheek smashed into the pillow fort below with Kyle on top of him. He looked so content, so tired, glowing and spent. In the BEST way. Kyle ADORED being the one to make him feel good like that. He gave Eric an orgasm that fucked him within an inch of his life and he looked so........honestly beautiful...laying on he pillows afterwards. 

 

The redressing part was awkward, but Kyle NEVER forgot that look of completion Eric wore and now he had a picture from Kenny’s house to physically hold in his hands whenever he wanted it.

Maybe that was why everything always led to him thinking about fucking. He looked at this picture WAY WAY too much. In the car, in bed, at the store, in line, when they weren’t talking for the last few days, when he was......um busy.

Fuck, he should delete this. It was too much of a detriment. If he could win Eric back, regardless of Wendy’s insistence he hadn’t lost him, then he would have forever to take more pictures like this.

Kyle swallowed, not wishing to part with it all the same.

Fix things first, establish a relationship, go on a DATE, then you can have more of these. I promise. It’s just one picture.

His finger hovered over the delete button. A bead of sweat slid down his forehead.

Go on, delete it.

Eric’s round little face stared back at him. Serene and peaceful. This picture is what gave him the strength to conquer Eric’s maddening sass and general annoying behavior. This picture was all the perfect things about Eric. Sure he had his memory...and it’s not like he didn’t remember it perfectly in his mind when he tipped his head back and shut his eyes and stroked his,

GAH! NO! Delete it!

Kyle put his finger back over the delete button, this time bearing down. 

~INCOMING CALL~

Kyle jumped a bit. He hadn’t expected anyone to call him. Maybe it was Wendy, staring out her bedroom window and telling him to get a move on.

He swiped over ‘answer’ and held it to his ear.

 

“...hello?” The voice was sweet. Distinct. Kyle knew it well.

“.......Hi Nicki”

“Yuuuup. I heard. About everything.”

Kyle sighed and put his head in his hand.

“Kyle, you’re great with girls. I don’t know where the transition is when it comes to Eric, but you’d be damned before you ran off on a woman while she was kissing you. You’d think it was ungentlemanly.”

“It is. And I wouldn’t, you’re right. But....I also don’t LIKE any girls like I like Cartman. And I’m not worried Ben slightly about being I gentlemanly with him.”

“Hm. Well enough scolding you. I honestly understand more than you think. So I guess what I’m wondering now is what your plan is. You know, before I tell you mine.”

“I.....I don’t have one. Uh. I want to go see him right fucking now, but I’m just going to....I don’t know. I’m going to screw this up. Horribly. We were KISSING, Nicole. I-he...we were making out and I just fucking bolted. It was the WORST.

“I mean. I didn’t WANT to go. I knew I had to, but I wanted to stay and just...see where things went.” Kyle shrugged shyly.

“You know where they would have gone and you know you would have been kicking yourself in the ass for the rest of your life if you had let it happen.”

“Yah...”

“BUT. That’s your problem, Kyle. That’s your problem right there. You have to know that Eric wants this, too, right?”

“Pfft. He wants us to be fuck buddies who can’t hold hands in public or eat dinner together?”

“It seems like screwing, pardon my language, is your relationship in a nutshell. Some people feel romantic attachment when they have a hobby they can share or family to spend time with. Or maybe they are both movie fanatics and can sit and watch them for hours and just be so into each other. And that works.

“Sex is seen as this crude, loveless concept quite often, but if you really care about someone Kyle, really really care- sex isn’t a trophy you win. Sex is this awesome, magical thing that makes you care about the person even MORE. IF you’ve got the right mindset. And yours seems to be sex. All your interactions lead there. From what I’ve been told.”

 

“You were told right.” Kyle could barely breathe. He wanted to let everything Nicole was saying make sense to him. He wanted it to be right, to be ok that they had done the deed upfront, as rushed as it was. He wanted it to be ok that everytime he kissed Eric, he wanted to do IT all over again. He wanted it to be acceptable that Kyle wanted to take Eric’s body anytime they felt it in their blood, and that it didn’t have to mean they were a couple of friends with benefits who didn’t give one fuck about the other.

 

Kyle knew it would be stupid to believe Eric hadn’t wanted it that first night. He spread his legs and had BEGGED for him. Begged.

No, no. Stay focused.

 

But the point is now... did he want more of the same thing?

What had Eric done after that second kiss anyway?

Hadn’t he said Kyle’s name?

Oh fuck......what if....

 

“Kyle, you still there? Look I’m not going to stand here and tell you sex is the only way to save this relationship. But maybe don’t FIGHT what comes naturally so hard? You know? It’s only doing you more harm than good, anyway.”

Kyle swallowed and nodded, forgetting this was a phone call.

“I know it’s the last thing you want to tell your date is your hard-

Kyle groaned. “Really???”

“BuUT. That’s just life. Things happen. Be an adult about it and just talk.” He swore he could hear her giggling. She was as bad as Bebe.

 

“....fine.”

“Don’t think about this stuff too much, Kyle. Just let it flow.”

“Even if it flows into sex?” His cheeks were scarlet.

“Boy, have you been listening to what I just said?”

He swallowed, hanging his head and feeling more like a child than ever about this whole situation.

 

“Talk it out. Just talk, talk, talk. Don’t run! Just talk. Goodbye, Kyle. Give Eric a call if you’re heading over there.”

 

“Alright.....thanks Nicole.”

“-OH! And Kyle? There’s a haunted corn maze on Cam street. Take him. First date, lots of touching when you start screaming and reaching for eachother. No erections! You’ll be too scared.”

 

“NIKKI, pleeeease.....though that’s not a bad idea...?”

“I know, that’s why you should do it!”

~CLICK~

Ok, NOW Kyle had a plan.

 

Wendy watched him run from her doorstep to the Cartman residence a block over. Finally. AND he looked confident. She knew Kyle would come to his senses, he always did.

She snatched her phone off of her bed and dialed Bebe’s number. 

“He’s off, we fixed this. What was his damage anyway?......oh.....uh huh.....wow. He’s in pretty deep. So why was he-....oh come on Bebe you can tell me!....Come on, I just went through hell and back!....please??...... Oh, Never mind, I have to go. Later, Bebe.”

Wendy clicked the phone off and sat it on her nightstand. Stan was sitting across from her against the wall, looking worse for wear.

“Stan,”. She creeped over and put her hand over his knee.  
“You still thinking about Kyle?”

 

He swallowed. “No. My dad.”

“You still upset about Shelly?”

 

“I....am trying not to be.”

 

“You want to go visit her real quick. It’s late, but she’d love to see you, I’m sure.”

 

“No, I don’t want to bother her. She probably has work soon. And Marcel is sleeping.”

Wendy rubbed circles over his thigh and squeezed it gently.

 

“You want me to help you relax?”

“Uggghh. Th-That’s ok, I think I would rather-“

Wendy had his jacket off and his face pushed into the mattress before he could blink an eye.

Palms were digging into his shoulder blades and fingers prodded the back of his neck before he knew what was happening.

“Oh my GOD! AWWWHH, Yeessssss. Oh fuck right there.”

Wendy smashed the heel of her hand into either side of his spine and started making circles.

“Oh my- fuck, I’m gonna die.”

“You sound drunk, Stan. Are you drooling?”

“Oooowhhhhhh, fuck.”

“I hope Kyle’s doing ok out there.”

“OHHH FUCK KYLE! YES, THERE!”

“Would you like me to fuck you instead?” She whispered mischievously in his ear.

“Wends, shush. I will fuck the life out of you right now. This...is... AH! Amazing!!”

 

“Pft. You’re such a sap, Stanley. As if you could.”

“Oh no?! I- AWWWHH riiiight fuccckkking theeerre. I will, after this. I swear.”

“Uh huh.”

 

Eric hadn’t even left the covers for dinner. He lost count of all his usual meals he‘d missed. 

He didn’t watch tv or read or play with his cat, Bonkers. He just laid here under the covers, Bebe’s words echoing around his head.

‘Tell them Kyle walked out on him?’ What good would that do exactly? What was that supposed to mane him realize? What deep, internal thing would that wake up inside him?

Fuck. Why was he letting this bother him so much? 

Kyle wasn’t his fucking reason for living. He wasn’t the very air he breathed. He wasn’t like his sun and stars, or something.

A blush crept over his cheeks and spread down his shoulders. He tried to swallow but his mouth felt so dry.

Kyle could lie to himself all he wanted, but Eric KNEW he had it bad. Not only bad. Eric knew his feelings ran deeper than liking him.

Kyle was strong where Eric wasn’t. Both a force of the mind, and well known for their relentless behavior, and the exhausting lengths they were willing to take things. Cartman jut couldn’t let things go, and Kyle just couldn’t let Cartman go.

But Kyle was stronger. He dealt with Eric’s shenanigans, fought against him, and STILL stuck around through everything.

Well......except kissing.

Maybe he wasn’t as strong as Eric’s brain kept imagining. But everytime he TRIED to stay mad at him for bailing, he thought about the way Kyle grinned into their kiss. How it made Eric get more than just a tasteful of sharp teeth and wet tongue. 

 

It was so HOT.  
Oh GOD, was it ever loving HOT.

It was so confident, and the way he lead them as Eric instantly submitted, it was the sexiest thing in the world. He didn’t even try to fight Kyle lipping and necking him. No sir.

Fuck, his legs just spread on their own! Kyle was warm, and pressing into him, and big. Anyone would kill for a boyfriend with that body to hold every night; there was no denying Kyle had grown into a man.

He kissed like sin. He was forceful and where he lacked affection, he made up for by flawlessly changing their positions. Eric had never had such an active kisser before as it was very clear Kyle liked to play with his mouth when he did. Thank the lucky stars, he was nice enough to share such a gift with Eric’s mouth. 

Eric pulled the pillow over his head for extra protection from the world outside his blanket cocoon. As if that could hide his shame. It was embarrassing enough he couldn’t stay mad at Kyle but it being because of the....needs....Kyle brought out in him..... well he rather you shoot him now and save him the humiliation of dreaming about the boy who ditched him than let him be the object of Eric’s throbbing erections any longer.

Fucccck. This sucked.

 

He didn’t know where to go from here. He couldn’t call Kyle. He made it clear he hadn’t wanted to talk to him in his texts and everyone would know Eric was the desperate slut he honestly was if he went crawling like a dog, calling for Kyle to come back.

 

He had to be strong. He had to fight his urges. His sadness. His deep rooted, life-long desire to be close to Kyle. No matter what the reason. Fuck Kyle! Eric didn’t NEED him.

 

~INCOMING CALL~

“K-Kyle, take me back! I’m sorry I miss you, we wont kiss ever again- we don’t have to go out on dates- we can just stay at my place and watch tv- I won’t ask you what’s in your wallet anymore- I know it’s just pictures of Ike and Stan- I’ll pretend I don’t know, and I swear I’ll tell Butters your favorite color isn’t pink- We don’t even have to eat at Kenny’s restaurant, we can order in- just hold my hand Kahl, PLEASE!!!”

There was a silence on the other end of the phone that Eric mistook as a very indifferent Kyle. Truthfully, Kyle was just trying to make sense of what Eric was saying, and then trying to find his voice again after how guilty he felt when he could process it.

Then he said something that made Eric’s heart flutter.

“Stay right there, I’m coming over.”

And hung up.

 

Eric wiped his face on his blanket, drenching it with tears. It took him a moment to realize what they’d just said in those 7 seconds.

Kyle was coming over.

KYLE WAS COMING OVER!

Eric threw the covers off and raced to his bathroom. He stripped off the pajamas he had worn for two days straight and shoved himself under the freezing shower head.

“JESUS! JESUS!”  
But there was no time to wait for it to get warm. This was a small town and even if Kyle was coming from his house, he’d still be there sooner than Eric could get ready.

He nearly slipped climbing out of the tub and scrubbed his face and hair with a towel, cursing at the loss of his glossy, splitless hair ruined in his brashness. No one could possible notice after all the hair care he fit into one daily regimen. But HE would notice, and that was all that mattered. Eric constantly strived to meet his personal perfection meter.

He shuddered, but pushed through. For Kyle.

 

He was able to get boxers on and a shirt just as a banging came from his front door.

“C-coming! Wait a sec!”

Eric screamed with a strangled voice. It was still hoarse from his phone call cryfest.

 

He stumbled down stairs, almost killing himself for the third time in 10 minutes, and threw the door open.

There was a moment where the two just stared at each other. It had only been a few days, but the way they were looking at each other was as if Kyle had just come in from over seas.

Eric tackled him into a hug, face buried in Kyle’s ribs. Even there in taught skin and the prominent bones of Kyle’s torso jabbing his cheeks, it was heaven. He breathed in Kyle’s scent before pulling away in horror.

“Uh Right...I promised I wouldn’t do that anymore...”

Kyle hadn’t had time to wrap his arms around him and secure him properly through all his shock. He hadn’t thought after a few days, a half-assed date, and a one night stand he would ever receive such attention just because Eric missed him.

It was hard enough to get a straight answer out of him 90% of the time, but he had already cried over the phone and latched onto him like a lifeline in 4 seconds of seeing him. This was the same Eric he carded away THAT night and took right there in his little safe space.

 

He didn’t like this ‘scared to touch him’ business, though. The last thing he wanted right now was for Eric to not want to hold him. He’d have to get rid of that while it was still new.

He swallowed and took a giant leap of faith.

“Cartman-Eric, listen. Uhm....b..baby.” Kyle bit his bottom lip hard enough to taste copper.

Eric got those stupid babydoll eyes that made Kyle say dangerous things.

 

“I messed up. I ran off when you were kisisng me, and it’s NOT because of what you think.”

Kyle stepped inside and took Eric’s small hands in his. 

“I...don’t know what Bebe told you. Hopefully not much. But I.... sort of lost my way.”

“Yeah, I know. She said you were struggling with this whole ‘dating me’ thing. That you didn’t know there would be this much drama you’d have to work with.”

 

“No that’s not why I’m stuggling! Just....it’s not that. It’s.....because of something dumb.... and infuriating and..... we’ll talk about it later, when the problem.................arises again.”

He cringed at his word choice. Why was this whole ‘talking like adults’ thing so hard?

 

“How do i know you won’t run off if whatever IT is happens again?”

“Because I won’t. I was being immature and totally just- I made things weird. It wasn’t you. And I’m NOT struggling because this is about drama. Seriously, I cannot stress that enough. Give me another chance? Please?”

 

“.........I wish you’d tell me what’s got you so worked up now.”

Kyle had to laugh. ERIC is what had him so worked up.

The pout he received made him think better of making light of this. Even if it was his own burden to bear, Kyle knew this was going to turn into a two person problem soon enough. Sooner than he’d like. He changed the subject before he could do any more damage.

“I-I’ll Tell you. Um tonight! Get dressed and we’ll go on a date. Sort of.”

“A date? Really?”

“Well, it won’t be romantic or anything. It’s a haunted house kind of deal-“

“STAY RIGHT THERE LET GETTING MY WALLET!”

“You’ll need pants too, dude. Wear a coat, it’s snowing out there.”

“I can think of some better ways to stay warm.” Eric purred.

Kyle swallowed his heart in his throat.

“Don’t make us late, fatass.”

Cartman was bounding up and down the stairs in record time. He had on his usual attire with the addition of a dark red parka. The extra padding made him waddle a bit. He glared at Kyle’s amused little grin.

“It better be fuckin’ cold.”

“Oh, it’s freezing.”

Kyle ushered them outside and watched Eric curse and drop the keys from the frigid weather with a smirk. 

 

“Told you.”

“Fuck. The real horror is the temperature, fuck the haunted house.”

“It’s actually a haunted corn maze thing.”

“Sounds gayer.”

“You’re only proving that point by going.”

“Ey! You suck cock, too! I-I think....”

Crimson colored over Eric’s cheeks and Kyle wished he had a scarf on to bury his face in.

Already unbearable tension was filling the air around them. They had only walked 2 houses down and they were already ruining the evening with dirty thoughts.

“Tha-that was an accident.” Eric mumbled, looking at his feet.

Kyle shrugged, trying to make light of the situation for Eric and the relationship’s sake. It was hard to sound unfazed with the stupid fluttering filling up his stomach.

“Well I ...... I bet you’re not wrong.....”

This sucked. Eric couldn’t even throw his gay jokes around without the duo turning red faced and gooey inside.

 

He hadn’t realized Eric was staring up at him wide eyed and terrified. He saw the shock on Eric’s face, but he HAD to know Kyle just wanted to sound reassuring. Kyle sucked on his bottom lip and tried to remain calm. That probably hadn’t been the best response, still.

“I mean....if we’re like married someday then I’ll have to suck your dick.” In his attempt to avoid mentioning having sex again before they were ready, he jumped the fence by a clear hundred miles.

They stopped walking as they reached a cross walk. More specifically, Kyle stopped walking and turned to face Eric, hands in the shorter boy’s shoulders.

 

“Erase everything I just said. Everything up until I met you at your house and asked to take you out. Can you do that?”

Eric was gawking at him. But when Kyle said that, it wasn’t freaking intentional! 

“Erase all of it. Pretend I never said that unless there was a knife pressed to my throat. Just do that real quick, and let’s cross this street and have a nice night. Ok.”

Kyle’s blood had turned ice cold and he didn’t have to worry about blushing when his heart had stopped pumping.

Kyle let one hand slide a across Eric’s shoulders and hurried them across before Eric could let it sink in too far the stupid things Kyle had just said.

Kyle was able to remain relatively cut off from his humiliation by the need to be close to Eric after so long and his determination to make this relationship work passed Kyle’s stupid hormones.

He wasn’t even questioning why he was saying such dumb things. Kyle understood now that he was just fucking stupid.

Eric was dazed. Talking about marriage brought up a whole list of commitment issues he had. Which were squashed giganticlly by Kyle on one knee holding his hands with a small velvet box in one of his.

Then that was squashed by the more tangible, actually possible, image of Kyle sucking his dick.

He couldnt bite back a moan or his head tipping back slightly. He turned his face away, and hid as best he could from Kyle’s prying, worries gaze. 

Fuck, had he been too loud?

It wasn’t his fault dammit! He had had three full days and a night to think about Kyle kissing him and the way they were swapping spit before Eric found out he was hard.

OH GOD! THAT WASN’T HELPING!!??!

“Eric, you ok? You’re shaking?”

Eric hadn’t realized they were walking up to the ticket booth. They were here. What had Kyle just asked?

“I-I’m *ahem* I’m fine.” 

“....you getting sick?”

“Nope.”

“Don’t get me sick, dude.”

“How could I unless we-“  
*kiss*  
“Share sodas?”

“You wouldn’t get me sick because you’re so damn short. The air I breathe is foot above your’s.”

“You fuckin-“

“Here.” Kyle cut him off by shoving a slip of paper in his chest.

“Here’s your ticket.”

Eric snatched it and growled at the tall redhead smiling evilly at Eric’s expense.  
Eric was too impressed with his ability to metaphorically shut his legs to care, though. Let’s see how long he could keep that up.

They came to a standing arch decorated in spiders and hanging limbs that led to the main pathway. 

“I’ll go first.” Kyle walked ahead.

“Whoa, whoa, no. I’m not a pussy bitch, I’ll go first.”

“Pft. Whatever, go first then. Don’t come screaming to me, though.”

“My dear ginger, it is YOU who will come screaming to ME. I have experience in these kinds of things. Butters always makes me lead.”

“This isn’t like those kiddie ones you take Butters to where they get the person behind you so you look all brave at the front.”

“I AM brave!”

Kyle rolled his eyes.

“Nicole said this would scare both of us.”

Eric froze.  
“Nicole?”

“Yeah. She gave me the idea to come here.”

 

Eric wanted to ask if she was here, but he didn’t want to make it look like a repeat of their ‘first date’. 

Eric couldn’t help wondering if she was still mad at him. It was no secret Nicole had a crush on Kyle when they were little and then again in middle school. Of which Cartman has secretly thwarted AGAIN. Nicole figured it out the second time around pretty quick. But it wasn’t like Eric was trying to be malicious......Exactly. It was....strange. He had this weird, deep rooted jealousy over Kyle even before he expressed interest in him. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Kyle shook him out of his thoughts. Eric looked at him and blinked a few times before swallowing his pride and saying the first dumb lie that popped into his head.

“Ugh, I think you were right. I might be getting sick.”

“Really? You do look pale.” 

Kyle bent down to face level and pulled him closer. 

“Do we need to go?”

“N-no. You just bought the tickets.”

“You’re more important than $40. I don’t want to get sick either.”

“Selfish. No, let’s go, I’m cool. I’m good.”

“You’re not.....chicken are you?”

“‘Scuse me?”

“You aren’t a big, fat, scared, chicken....... are you?”

“Oh Kahl.” Eric pat his head with as much malice in his voice as humanly possible.

“Kahl, Kahl, Kahl. Nobody calls me a chicken and gets away with it. Watch and be stupified.”

Eric turned out of his grip and marched down the path.

“Alright.” Kyle called after him. Eric could here the smile in his voice.

Well Eric would show that asshole up.


	5. Halloween mascara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF AND FLUFF AND FLIRTING AND SWEET WORDS
> 
> Getting heavy (but still ridiculous)

“Go ahead.”

“I am!”

“You’re moving an inch and hour.”

“I’m WALKING!”

“If you’re gonna lead, lead.”

“JESUS, this fucking ginger bitch.”  
Cartman marched along the acorn cluttered earth. It was dark out and ominous, red lights sparingly lit the maze path.

Kyle’s boots crunched through the snow, and the tall stalks of corn absorbed the sound. It made every noise around them so much more intense. You could hear Eric fidget with a tissue in his pocket and the crinkle of his parka as his nails scratched over it.

It was...kind of creepy. But nothing to get them worked up over yet.

The clouds covered the moon, making their only light the dim glow from the artificial lights. It was hard to see anything more than 4 feet in front of them. Naturally, it created all sorts of illusions as their eyes began to play tricks on them. 

Still, Eric was determined not to lose his cool. Not once.

There was nothing but the two of them in near darkness, turning corners and walking down long stretches of maze. No scares or jumps. Just lots of quiet walking.

Kyle would think it was pretty boring if he didn’t have Eric’s ass to watch. When he let his mind wander, he didn’t even bother chiding himself for such lewdness. This was one of those times as it felt so good just to have Eric there beside him. He didn’t care what they could be doing right now. 

Hell, they could be knitting. Just as long as Eric was somewhere close after so manny days of silence. 

Eric was too wrapped up in his mission to remain unscare-able to be bored. He couldn’t think about how lame this was when he had a total jerk off behind him, watching him. Taunting him. He’d show Kyle he wasn’t a chicken. Jerk...  
All this mentally steeling himself for that first jump-scare was starting to make him hungry, though.

It was freezing outside, but that was typical of South Park to anyone who didn’t live here. Eric could sport a t shirt in 30 degree weather, and you’d find most of the mother’s walking around in skirts.

Tonight, was special. It was colder than Ant-fucking-arctica. He wanted to huddle closer to the tall heater behind him, but he was doomed to lead them on their journey instead. Sometimes he loved the bets they made, even the ones at his own expense most the time. They were this weird kindling to the fire they had and they were fun. But this SUCKED. This was not fun. This was cold, and dark, and (Eric was no chicken) but CREEPY. 

Nothing had popped out at them yet, and it was starting to get unnerving. 

Then something caught his eye. He turned left to an opening in the maze where the stalks made a dead end. They could either go left or right from there. 

In the middle of the wall of corn was a plaque with red color on it. Eric made a bee line to it.

Kyle followed him, jumping a little when he realized Cartman was suddenly turning and taking the ass Kyle was staring at with him.

 

“What’s this-it’s is a sign.”

Kyle stood beside him and brought his phone out to shine the light over it.

“Don’t get caught.” He mumbled

“That’s stupid.” Eric felt a chill run through him.

“That’s actually pretty freaky.”

“Get caught doing what? It’s stupid.”

They looked back and forth from the left path to the right one.

“Well, we may find out ‘what’ soon enough.” Then Kyle led them to the right, interest peaked.

Eric chased after him.  
“Um, Kahl. I think we should have gone left.”

Eric eyed the series of red splatters that began to riddle the maze the farther they went. It was impossible to see from the distance of the sign. Eric debated using his phone as a flashlight.

“Probably. Let’s see what’s down here first.”

“Why would you want to?”

“Uh-It’s a haunted corn maze. To get scared of course.”

Eric couldn’t argue with that, but he could argue with Kyle’s mental health. He never understood his macabre fixation. 

Then, nearly covered by corn stalks, a shed became visible. There were no lights inside save for a single candle that caught their eye a few feet away. As the door eerily swayed open, the couple peered inside to see a single room with a table the candle sat on. Beside it was a note card propped up reading, ‘COME IN’.

“Wow. Think we’re on the right path-“

“I HAVE A CONFESSION.” Eric blurted, hands crushing the sides of Kyle’s orange jacket.

Kyle had one foot inside the shed when he stopped to turn back to his shorter counterpart.

“What? You’re not scared are you?”

“No I’m NOT SCARED! I.........left the oven on.”

Kyle laughed in his face, turning back and walking inside as Eric held on to his back like a lifeline.

“KAHL! Wait!”

Eric turned to see if the door would close behind them. No such thing thankfully. This wasn’t a movie, this was South Park. What graphic effects could they really afford around here? 

“Kyle?” He turned back to stare up at the back of his ushanka.

Kyle was reading the note card, flipping it over and searching for clues. What were they supposed to do now?

Well the smart thing was leave.

“Let’s just go.” Eric whispered, despite his desire to appear unphased. 

Kyle looked way too involved in what was going on. They’d both be dead now if it was a horror movie. Curiosity killed the cat. PLUS they weren’t virgins. They would be so screwed right now.

Eric heard a faint scraping from the floor.

“Kahl?!”

“I heard it, too.” He put the note card back down.

“Let’s go.” Eric hissed.

Under the table the note card and candle sat on, a shadow of white caught Eric’s eye. A hand more specifically.

Suddenly warmth flooded his chest as Eric literally bit his bottom lip to keep from smiling wickedly. He knew what was coming, this was his chance to prove himself.

“K-Kahl....what’s that?”

“What?” Kyle took his phone out and shined it over the ceiling and walls where Eric was pointing.

 

“I don’t know. It’s nothing, just chill for a second.” 

Kyle went to put the phone back in his pocket when the light ghosted right over the demon hidden under the table.

The screaming and stumbling on the way out of the shed was more precious to Eric’s memory than the time he forced Kyle to do his bidding to save a whole nation.

Geez did he miss the times HE was the tall one.....

Eric followed him out of the shed looking very smug. Hopefully he came off as brave or Kyle wouldn’t count it if he knew Eric saw it coming.

Kyle was doubled over with a hand on his chest, breathing heavy.

“Fucking...fuck.” He murmured.

Eric watched the way the snow collected on the back of his hat and collar. 

As if the shock of red bangs didn’t stand out enough. Why did GOD make Kyle so pretty?

Eric swallowed and grew stiff.

Why WAS Kyle so pretty? He was funny, even when he was angry. Even when he was scared. He was cute, especially when he was angry. He was tall, thin, (LORD help him) strapping.

He was...so perfect.

Kyle eventually caught his breath just as the shed door swung shut.

It startled him, but Eric didn’t nearly get the scare that Kyle had. He walked over looking triumphant and asshole-ish in the same pose.

Kyle glared at him, standing to his full height and towering over the little menace below. 

Eric didn’t flinch, even having the audacity to shoot Kyle a little wink. One which had Kyle swallowing and cursing himself for finding adorable.

“Alright, fatass. You win. I mean, we still have a whole maze to get through. But I see that you’re no coward. Happy?”

“So very.”

“I dropped my phone in there. Will you go get it for me?”

Eric glared at him before Kyle grinned and pulled it from his pocket. 

“A little test. To see how brave you think you really are.” He smiled viscously.

“OH! So you think it was a hoax then? That I couldn’t look brave in the face of danger twice? Stand behind me, darlin’. Try not to get scared again.”

Eric walked them back down the trail to take the second path this time. This one hadn’t dead ended yet, but he just had a hunch this wasn’t the right way. They totally should have turned left.

It turned into another long, winding road of corn stalks and dim lights.

“If we get lost in here, I’m eating your arms for food.” Kyle mumbled.

“Pft. Look at you. You’re like a food camel. I bet you don’t eat but once a day.”

“I eat! If I remember.”

“That’s so unhealthy dude.” Cartman said rolling his eyes.

There was a silence as they walked the path, closer this time.

A faint hooting echoed from somewhere far off. Everything in the mountains echoed and called. It certainly added to the terrifying ambience.

“What? No comeback?” Eric suddenly huffed. It took Kyle a second to realize what he said.

“Huh?”

“No comeback? You’re not going to comment on my weight?”

“Uh...why would I?”

“Because I just dissed yours.”

“Oh...... no. No comeback.”

“Well....why not?” This was definitely interesting news to Eric. Kyle had been slamming his body weight since they were kindergarteners. What had changed?

“Just don’t have anything to say.”

“Nothing, dude?....”

“No.”  
Kyle swallowed.  
“Nothing bad.”

Eric swallowed nervously.

“So...something...not bad?” He had slowed his walking down so he was moving beside Kyle. He side eyed him but he couldn’t read his face from down there. 

“Well. Yeah. I mean I don’t want to......I...I don’t know.

 

Eric stopped walking as Kyle kept stepping ahead.

“Didn’t want to what?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Dude tell me.”

“It’s nothing!”

“Stop walking!” 

Kyle stopped, but he didn’t turn around. Eric rushed over and grabbed ahold of his sleeve.

 

“What were you about to say?”

“Why do you want to know so bad?”

“Because. Just tell me.”

“It’s not important. Really I shouldn’t bring it up.”

“Well I want to know! I can handle it, tell me.”

“It’s.... Eric I don’t want to bring this up. Let’s just have fun.”

“I AM having fun, but I don’t like my boyfriend keeping secrets from me!”

Kyle’s heart melted in his rib cage. They hadn’t said it before, not out loud. It was mundane and old news at this point but......if Eric’s blush and lip biting said anything, it was that it was very much not old news to them. Kyke swallowed.

As if Eric had said the magic words, Kyle instantly wanted to tell him everything.

“I was going to say I......I didn’t want to bring up.....you know.

“No.” Eric whispered hoarsely. “Tell me.”

“I don’t want to bring up THAT night, or anything.”

The two stiffened and turned their faces away from each other.

“But.....I was going to say I think we covered this before we.....um.

Eric didn’t offer him a way out. Too transfixed on his feet and the burning heat in his face.

Kyle swallowed again and blinked a few times.

 

“Well, my point is.....I told you then, I didn’t want any of this negative body stuff. You know I.....like your body. Pretty sure I said so in great detail.”

“You called me full figured.” Eric recalled, blushing and biting the inside of his cheek. He looked up to search Kyle’s face but tore his eyes away the moment he realized Kyle was staring back.

“I did.” He murmured. There was so much...... SOMETHING in his voice that Eric couldn’t quite pinpoint. It was so HEAVY. So gentle. It made him shiver.

“So that should answer that.” Kyle finally said, turning around to look at the path. His hand laced over Eric’s grip on his sleeve.

“Let’s go.....” he said a whisper, unable to look at him anymore.

Eric wanted to keep prodding, to hear more of those compliments and sweet things from Kyle. But he thought better of it, and simply followed the warm hand tugging him along.

He felt those fingers flex when Eric stumbled over a rock, gripping him tighter. He wet his lips and tried not to think about them. How long and slender they were. Like all of Kyle.

Fuck he was doing that THING again. Last time he got all gooey, Kyle bolted on him. 

Suddenly a block of ice settled in his gut. Eric gripped Kyle’s hand harder, bruising the knuckles and trying to pull out of his grasp. Kyle unfortunately noticed.

“You alright?” He stopped walking and looked over the shorter boy.

“Y-yup.” He swallowed. “Totally fine.”

“Hey.” Kyle’s voice was suddenly impossibly soft and Eric didn’t know how much more of this soft, sweet Kyle he could take after all that body praising.

“You...um....you don’t have to...”

“What?”

“I mean, it’s ok if you really ARE scared.”

“Oh Fuck you! YOU’RE the one who was jumping and screaming!”

“No I’m serious.” Kyle hushed.  
“You were pretty shaky back there, too. We can take one of the exits. I don’t care honestly, I’ve had my fill.”

“You...what do you mean?”

“I.....a-are you hungry?”

 

Oh my GOD.....a real date.... oh fuck!

Eric wasnt dressed for this.

“Uhm, y-yeah, totally. What you thinking?”

“La Ritz?”

Oh NO. He definitely wasn’t dressed for THAT. 

“Hell no! I mean.....I’m not like, dressed or anything.”

 

“What? Oh- neither am I. I don’t care if you don’t.”

“I DO care! I want to dress snazzy if we’re going there!”

“Pft. What does it matter?”

What does it- no WONDER Kyle never got a girlfriend.

“Because I want you to think I’m hot!!”

“Dude.”

“What! That’s totally reasonable! People want to look attractive for their dates, that’s everybody!”

Kyle wasn’t ready to tell Eric, or himself, how cute that notion was.

“Just stop worrying. You look fine.” Fucking smooth. That’s exactly what your date wanted to hear. It’s not like Kyle could just start pouring out all his fluffy feelings for how beautiful he thought he was in a haunted corn maze, though. He could barely let himself focus on Eric’s perfect, chocolate bangs without feeling some level of embarrassment.

He quickly tried to cover his stupid word choice.

“Want to eat it to go?- Er NO WAIT! Not that. Um somewhere public...” fUCK. He forgot about the public thing. He was screwing this up worse and worse.

“Somewhere public?” Eric repeated.  
What was Kyle muttering about? Why did that matter. Honestly all Eric wanted to do right now was get him alone.

“Hell we can get junk if you want. I’ll eat almost anything.”

Kyle looked down at him before finding what he was looking for.

“Fuck. I don’t know. The ice cream place?”

“Uhh yes times a million.“

“Yeah?” Kyle lit up.

“Were sitting down I take it?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Well....ok. Cool.”

Kyle was already leading them to one of the emergency exits.

Eric watched their feet. This felt good. After so long apart, just being close was enough for him. This was all he could ask for. It reminded him of old days.

Just chilling and doing dumb things on the spare of the moment. Except they weren’t dating back then. And Kyle wouldn’t hold his hand when they went walking through snow together.

They were holding hands!

Eric looked up at the place their fingers were locked togrher. Out in the open, on the streets of South Park for all to see. 

He looked around frantically, expecting to see hoards of people staring and gawking. There weren’t any, but the few faces he did see made him queasy.

Kids from their school, kids who knew them well. 

Eric whipped his head around to see if Kyle was looking. He wasn’t, or either he didn’t care. It wasn’t anybody really important to them,

BUT GOD forbid, 

IKE fucking saw them, to which Kyle grinned and flipped him the bird when he made humping motions. 

It was unmistakably him. It was Ike Brovflovski. And Kyle was just.....

 

“KYLE, YOUR BROTHER KNOWS?!”

Kyle’s face was darker than Eric’s parka. 

“Umm.” He swallowed. “It’s sort of a long story. Ugh-“

“Do your-“

“No, my parents DON’T know. Just Ike. I swear.”

“What?! How do you know!”

“‘Cause he just....like heard about us.”

“And you don’t think he’s going to tell them?!”

“No, dude, trust me. He doesn’t want to talk about it to anyone. Pretty sure he just wants to forget as much as I do.”

 

“What?.....well, what does that mean exactly?”

 

“Nothing.” Kyle said quickly.

Eric didn’t buy it.

“....Does it have to do with that secret you’ve been keeping from me?”

“How did you- I mean....sort of. Not entirely.”

Eric gave him a glare he couldn’t see. What the hell kind of secrets was Kyle keeping from him exactly?

Eric ducked his head at a couple of parents eyeing them and followed Kyle into the ice cream shop.

It stayed open until 2, a hotspot for kids their age, and where you could frequently find Kevin Stoley working behind the counter. The place was sort of ditched by big business and had free run for the employees and management to express themselves.

Which explained the shuffle board table the McCormick kids pushed into the corner and the series of graffiti and black tongue covering the wall behind the jukebox the goth kids wrote.

Really it should be considered run down and unhabitable for food serving, but the kids had fought the mayor on that issue years ago. The pay was suck, but who could care about that when you could wear your Spock costume to work?

“Kevin, you know what I want.” Eric slinked up to the counter. He felt right at home the moment they stepped inside.

“Can’t, Cartman. Sorry. Red Tucker polished off the scotch.”

“Son of a bitch.”

Kyle snorted. The other three boys never grew tired of Eric’s occasional ice cream-alcohol indulgence. It was actually a pretty grand thing to watch him scarf it down without puking and staying sober.

“Mint chip.” Kyle muttered, fishing out his wallet.

“I want chocolate and strawberry! No cones, Kyle is a fucking mess.”

“How quaint.” Kyke rolled his eyes and handed his card to Kevin. It was no secret Cartman missed his face while he was eating a large percent of the time.

Kevin got their orders, taking a second to spin the wheel of the novelty mustang ‘car fanatic Annie’ left on the back shelf. This place was heaven for them. Even Kyle had left a piece of himself there.

It sat in the corner, untouched and beautiful. His collection of old school rap cds his mom made him ‘throw out’. They were in a small, vertical shelf sitting beside Token’s beloved stereo system. The one that damn near shook the walls when it played his country songs. 

While Kyle waited, Eric took his spot towards their corner of the shop. He threw himself into Ike’s bean bag chair.  
Kyle couldn’t stop himself from watching him go. Watching the very particularly, light sway of his hips go. Hopefully Kevin hadn’t seen that.

“You’re eating there?” Kyle asked, coming over with their cups of ice cream.

“Yup.” Cartman reached up for his and snuggled back into the fluffy, giant ball.

Kyle scooted the chair at the table beside him out with a foot and whipped it around. He sat with the back of the chair facing him, propping his arms over top and watched the ball of energy below him shove sweets in his face. 

As predicted, he had several drops of the stuff dotting Ike’s bean bag where he missed his mouth.

 

“Can’t you eat that on your chair? Is this punishment for Ike making faces at us?”

“Was he making faces? I hadn’t noticed.”

He pretended to suck a dick.”

A small smile spread over Eric’s lips. He wanted to smile at how well Ike had turned out as opposed to his brother. But it was at his own expense if he did.

 

“That little shit.” He muttered, putting a spoonful of chocolate down his throat.

He received a quick nudge from Kyle’s boot.

“What, I can’t say anything about Ike being a-“

He looked up to see a cat like grin spreading Kyle’s lips. It was confusing to say the least. Eric had no idea what that look meant.

He blinked a few times, then turned back to his ice cream. He settled deeper into the bean bag chair, deciding it better to just mind his own business.

Kyle kicked his shoe again.

Eric’s head shot up, surprise and confusion painting his face. Kyle was giving him that same look.

“What the fuck, Kahl?”

While their eyes were locked, Kyle kicked his foot AGAIN and gave him this daring look.

Heat flooded Eric’s chest as he finally realized what was happening. 

Kyle was flirting with him.

He had to bite his lip, eyes falling down to search his lap and the melting ice cream cup. He didn’t think he could recall a single time before this that Kyle had physically flirted with him. Or otherwise, too. 

Kyle was always straight down to business. Even the way he showed his affection was very serious. He looked Eric in the eye and belted out a list of compliments on Erics figure their first time and looked like he was giving a presentation on statistics the whole time.

Weirdly hot, but not the point.

Eric stuck his foot out and pushed Kyle’s under his chair.

They locked eyes again as Eric shot him his own flirty look. Kyle smiled. While eating a bite of his ice cream, his other boot locked under Eric’s Achilles, pulling him closer off the bean bag and refusing to let go.

“Ey!” Eric spilled strawberry over his hand as the other fought desperately to keep his coat from riding up. 

Kyle didn’t let go, his boots pulling Eric farther off the chair into the freezing, tiled floor with his shirts exposing his hips.

Eric kicked his knee with his free foot. The two giggling like idiots.

“Wooow.” A nasally, very insinuating voice cooed from the counter. Kevin was giving them fluttery winks and ‘oooohs’. 

The duo straightened up and kept their legs to themselves after that. Red coloring their cheeks.

They stole glances at each other all the way back to Eric’s house. Eric stopped them before they reached the front door.

“Wait, why are we going to my place? Your parents aren’t home and Ike already KNOWS.”

It wasn’t like he wanted to stir up some drama over the ordeal, it wasn’t that important. But he recognized the blue corvette sitting in his driveway.

“Yeahhh....about that.... um I rather not face him with this just yet.” Kyle scratched the back of his neck.

That was....sort of odd.

Eric tried not to let himself become jealous. Sure, he had watched his back like a hawk for anyone who might see them holding hands or Kyle whipping out his wallet. He did it everytime they went out together. Yes, he admitted he did that. 

But Kyle hadn’t. Kyle had been very ‘go fuck yourself’ about people noticing and judging them. It was well known his anger ruled his brain power and if he saw something he liked, he would like it and all others be damned if they try to tell him otherwise. He was his own mind.

So......NOW.....the thought of him afraid to flaunt them.....sort of......irked Eric. Even if he HAD done that himself. It just.....why was KYLE?????

“Don’t see why not....”

“What?”

“Nuthin’” 

“Repeat that, right now.”

“Nuthin’”

“The other thing, smartass.”

“It’s NOTHING!”

“You have badgered me all night about keeping secrets! What the fuck is this double standard?!”

“And you still ARE. You never told me what made you run out on me! YOU’RE the one keeping secrets. Maybe I just want to get even.”

“That’s not healthy.”

“You aren’t doing healthy things either!”

“Eric.....ugh. Fuck. It’s complicated, alright?”

“Oh NO. That REALLY justifies it.”

“Dude.”

“Newsflash! Everything about relationships is complicated. Especially if you’re trying to make it work!”

“And that’s exactly what I’m doing! It’s a secret for your own good!”

“So it IS a secret!”

Kyle threw his hands up and walked up and down the walkway, rubbing his face.  
This is about all it took to shut him down, and that made Eric worry he’d never know.

“Kyle, please! Tell me what the issue is! Just say it! I don’t understand why you can’t tell me things?!”

“Why can’t you!”

“What?! I don’t know what you’re even talking about. I tell you EVERYTHING.” Eric threw his hands out.

“Everything?”

“Yeah!”

“Were you telling me EVRYTHING when you neglected to mention your childhood CRUSH ON ME?!”

“WELL YOU FOUND OUT DIDNT YOU?! You always find out in the end, that’s all that matters!”

“Eric I SWEAR to you, you WILL find out sooner than I’d like, and it will probably fuck us up.”

Eric froze, fear shining in his eyes. A hand came up to his mouth, and he steeled himself for the condemning words surely to come.

“Is there....” he swallowed. “Another?”

“What? WHAT! NO?! No. Just, Eric I-“

“You’re asexual!”

“Um, not personally. No. But it’s good to know you’re brain is thinking about such things.”

“You just.....wanted us to be a one time thing.....d-didn’t you?”

Tears were welling up in Eric’s eyes and panic raced through Kyle so quickly, he felt dizzy.

“JESUS NO! Ike heard me call your name when I....i-i was...... a few nights ago when we kissed and i......I ran off...and I......UGH. Fucking fuck.”

Eric stood gaping like a fish out of water. It didn’t take much for him to piece things together. He’d been thinking about the tent in Kyle’s pants when they kissed every hour since it happened. He’d like to think he disguised it pretty well, but how hidden is a series of glances at Kyle’s crotch and sudden bouts of blushing?

Thankfully, Eric offered him an outlet. To some extent. He didn’t make him finish that sentence, but he did want answers.

“You....called my name? You TOUCHED yourself? To me?”

Kyle was looking at him like he had just stuck his hand in dry ice and barbed wire. Like he was crazy for speaking it aloud.

“You’ve kind of got me backed up into a corner h-here.”

“So yes.”

“Y-yeah...” he swallowed nervously. Eric had never seen him so red. Ever. He looked like he might faint. HOENSTLY with this information, Eric wanted to, too.

So.....Kyle DID want him too. This was definitive proof, this whole thing wasn’t one sided. It wasn’t some one night stand and Kyle trying to pick up the pieces out of respect. It was something he wanted. And apperantly Eric was something he very much wanted, as well.

 

“Oh.” He didn’t know why that was the lame thing he followed it up with, but he was glad his body worked to make amends where his brain couldn’t. It raised him from the couch and had his hands reaching up and cupping the tall boy’s cheeks. He pulled them down and initiated for the first time their third kiss.


End file.
